Thankful

Yes that was certainly quick. I am officially sold out of honey for the year.

But if all goes well, if my bees make it through the winter, there will be honey again next year. It is a very uncertain thing because who knows what could happen between now and then. I will also be definitely adding a new hive and possibly split the old one if needed. Those new ones will most likely take another 16 months to establish before I can take honey from them.

If any of you ever hear of someone selling their hives, tell me please.

I'm going to go to my hive today and check in. And give it big hugs.

Today I am thankful for all of those people who bought my honey and for those who didn't get to- I wish I had enough for everyone.
And I am thankful for all you who take the time to read my silly ramblings.

Thank you!

It's here! and Pretty Much All Gone!

So I did it and here is my first crop of honey, all jarred up and labeled.




It took me about 16 months to get to this point. Total was about 16 pounds all together. I jarred up 24 all nice nice and gave a 1 pound jar to my wonderfully creative friend Heather of whom I have spoken of before who designed the label for me.





I love keeping bees. I love having honey to sell. I have plans of expanding this coming Spring and so on and so forth.
I finally figured out what I want to do when I grow up. 38 years of dicking around.

I like to think that my "doing" so to speak is keeping bees and telling stories.

I fully accept the fact that neither one will probably never be lucrative enough to pay the bills.

But that's what I have a job for.

So following what other people are doing online this week, I will state some stuff that I am thankful for.
Today I am very thankful for my bees. I really love my girls. Even more than my dog.




I call this hive "Cabbage Hive" I'm hoping to install Epstein soon.

Books So Far

I have a lot of catching up to do on my other story. there is no way at this point that I would reach the NaNoWriMo goal of 50,000 words by December 1st. Even if I cheated and added everything I already wrote in previous months.

If I really wanted to win whatever prize they're giving (I never checked) I would probably have to don a pair of adult diapers, lock myself in a room with a bit of food and water and have at it. However, the bangs on the door of my family trying to break in would most likely prove too distracting, so I have to be satisfied with bits and pieces daily and just being happy with the fact I did something.

The really awesome thing about NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month for those who may not know) for me is that is has gone a long way into getting me into the habit of writing every day. Structure and incentives are good for me.

For this past month, I have gotten up every morning at 6:15-6:30 and I fire up the computer and write something. Even if it's on here.

Later on I will sit for at least an hour and write more. That is when I turn this great application called Freedom on and that prevents me from going on the internet for however long I want. Huge help.

I hope that works-the link isn't showing up in the preview. I really need to work on my computer skills if I want to keep writing here.

So in addition to writing a lot, I read a lot. A few years back after reading an article where some apple bigwig claimed that people never read anymore and that is why they didn't have a version of the Kindle (It was right after the Kindle came out)I decided to keep track of how many books I read each year. I posted it last year here and the year before on Facebook.
I'm eventually going to get back onto GoodReads as well, but I don't have the time right now. But for the Hell of it, I'll share some of what I have read so far this year. I asterisked those books that I really liked.

1. The Night Circus
2. Monsters of Men***
3. A Monster Calls***
4. Steampunk!***
5. Nocturnes
6. The Infernals
7. Death Comes To Pemberley
8. Stay Awake
9. Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children***
8. Good Omens***
9. The Hunger Games
10. Catching Fire
11. Bird by Bird
12. Mockingjay
13. Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk***
14. On Writing
15. Gods Behaving Badly
16. The Graveyard Book***
17. Willpower***
18. Room
19. Lamb The Story of Biff, Christ's Childhood Friend***
20. The Wind In The Keyhole***
21. That's Disgusting
22. The Hunger Games (again-I know-shut up)
23. Catching Fire
24. Mockingjay
25. Daughter of Smoke and Bone
26. This is How***
27. American Gods***
28. Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
29. A Wizard of Earthsea
30. The Tombs of Atuan
31. The Farthest Shore
32. A Wrinkle in Time
33. Tehanu
34. The Wind Through The Keyhole (again)***
35. The Amber Chronicles volume 1
36. Gregor The Overlander
37. Gregor and The Prophecy of The Bane
38. Anansi Boys***
39. Neverwhere***
40. Shadow Of Night
41. The Glass Castle
42. I Suck At Girls***
43. Anansi Boys***(again)
44. Shadow Show
45. The Giver

Good Year so far-I pretty much liked everything, some more so than others. Yes, I know, I like a lot of science fiction/fantasy and young adult. I will continue with my ritual and post the remaining books and grand total on New Year's day.
Ok going now, thanks for reading.

Sausage

I love my father in a weird way and despise him at the same time. He can be exhausting.

At this point, my feelings really don't matter that much in the situation because love him or not, I let that man live in my house.

He lives in the basement.. It's a pretty good deal, he contributes to the household and in lieu of Christmas presents every year, he gets me a pound of coffee whenever I want it from his coffee shop.

It can be frustrating to have him around. He doesn't clean his little apartment very well and he does very silly financial things.

I won't go into too much detail except to say his Swiss Colony account is up in the thousands.
At first I was flabbergasted. How the fuck do you spend a thousand dollars on meat logs and fruitcake? It's not like his shelves are stacked with vacuumed packed sausages.

Turns out, Swiss Colony sells clothes of the non-Leiderhosen variety.
Who would have thunk?

I spent last Sunday taking back control of my basement bathroom, which is technically his, but we share the washer and dryer in there. For a long time he was using a garbage bag for a curtain. I'm sure you all have seen in an earlier post his solution to actual dusting is to drape old cloth diaper rags over everything.
In fact, I took control of my rag supply again, taking them off everything and washing them. Now I have new rags too!
And now a new bathroom. We got a new washer, so I followed my spanking new machine with a proper curtain and slapped some new shelf paper on the dusty shelves. I scrubbed all the gross pipes and we even spray painted the rusty basebord.

I think I was waiting for a long time for Horst to get off his ass and clean something. I realize now it's kind of on me to do certain things.

He's old, he was raised a certain way and he also works a ridiculous amount of hours not to mention, takes a 45 minute bus ride to get there.
So I took back the bathroom and now I clean it too. If you come over and one of the kids is stinking up the upstairs bathroom, I might just ask you if you'd like to use my other bathroom with a hint of pride in my voice.

I got up at 6:45 so I had some time to write on here and work on my other story.
Horst has the day off. He set the smoke detector off at 6:50 AM and the smell of burnt Brown and Serve sausage has permeated my house.
Happy Sunday Folks.

I have to get ready for my long shift in about 15 minutes.

I kind of hate Saturdays for this reason. It's not so bad when i get there and I get busy, but right now, an hour and fifteen minutes before start time really sucks.

What sucks as well is that I work until midnight, then I have to get up early and go to Mass with the family. Yes. A Catholic one. No me myself, I am not Catholic. My husband is and it's weird because he doesn't agree with a lot of that stuff-you know what I mean.

I am not going to get into why I agree to go to church or anything like that for now. It's too long winded and I just do not have the inclination at the moment.

But the church burns is kind of expensive. It bugs me.
I don't mind giving to charity-in fact I was donating 1/2 of my honey sales to an apiary in Brooklyn. They 're not taking any more donations so I'm going to buy a beehive for some poor person through Heifer International and then make a donation to the Red Cross.

So every week, I gotta give a check in the Ol' envelope.
Then they have these things like taking photos for the church directory. They said that is was an opportunity for a "free" family photo.
That was quite the fiasco. I had to bring the whole crew to pose for picture. Brian said no to my suggestion that we dress up as Kiss. He's no fun at all.

We waited for ever, then we posed forever. The photographer was this surly woman who wouldn't settle for anything mediocre. I couldn't figure out what the hoopla was about until she sat us down and began the hard sell. We got the "we are doing this for free and don't you want to support your church bit. Of course the children were bedazzled by all the nice pictures. We left almost 200 dollars poorer. And then the envelope that Sunday.. I do admit the church gets very little when it soaks us for something like that. Here is a photo of our family photo. i wish I was computer savvy enough to photo shop some Kiss make up



Isn't it nice? Now I have 3 of these kicking around the house, I have no idea what to do with. Want to buy one? They're covered in Irish linen!

They have this thing too called Faith Direct, which takes the money directly out of your bank account each week. I decided that if I am forced to do such a thing, they are going to get a dollar a week.

CCD costs a lot of money, so that week was a poor donation week, but the real kicker was the Harvest Festival. B took the kids (I had to work) and somehow or other V won a goldfish. To me it's the worst thing.

It's supposed to get big and live in a Coi pond. I know it's just a 25 cent fish, but still it's not disposable. I know it's just a cheap feeder fish, but I don't have anything to feed it to. I always feel really bad for goldfish.
They could've splurged for Betas. They are great bowl fish. How many people were they expecting to go to a silly Harvest Festival anyways. I think they could've spent a little more money to get a more suitable fish. Many of those goldfish bought and won that day probably died. I guess that pro-life stuff doesn't pertain to feeder fish.

So that following Sunday, after church, I found myself having to go out and purchase a little tank, gravel and of course the fish just HAD to have Sponge Bob's house. Because the poor fish would be so much poorer without a $10.00 replica of Sponge Bob's house. I think the grand total for that one was close to $50.00.

The church is lucky I didn't have to make these purchases on Saturday night because they would've found a Petco receipt in the church envelope the next day.

But there is a little bit of hope for me and this whole church business.

I'm talking B into taking the kids to church on Saturday night, so I don't have to go on Sunday. So there is a benefit to working late on a Saturday.

As for the fish, he was just a little white and gold thing and I paid him no mind until he began to mature. He started to grow a little patch of dark skin just above his upper lip. With that I began to love him, little Burt Reynolds. I'm planning a Coi pond for sometime in the future for my little mustached friend.

I think I'll put the receipt for that in the collection envelope.

The Trilogy part 2

Crap-I just wrote a disclaimer and promptly lost it. So here is a shorter one. I started this much earlier and then I had to do other things. Now I'm trying to get this out so I can do some other things, like clean the puke that my asshole cat just left on my couch. Well at least she's eating most of it.
So yes-this probably sucks but then again I did write 2193 words today for the really long story I have been working on, so I feel this totally justifies a crappy no picture post. I'll try to do better tomorrow

It's 7 AM and I actually have a clear 15 minutes in which to write a post before everyone gets up. I like to get up before everyone else and on certain days, I make it a point to write at least a few paragraphs first thing when I get up. On days when I have to work 16 hours, it feels like a really nice accomplishment. I'm beginning to find that if I do not write, I spend the rest of the day feeling rather guilty about it, and that screws up my day.

We watched Moonrise Kingdom last night. My brother in law mentioned that his family saw it over the summer. I've been dying to see it and when i found it at Red Box, I thought it would be something for all of us to watch.

My husband neglected to mention that my brother in law mentioned a part that made him really "embarrassed"
I was totally unprepared for the part when the kids are kissing on the beach and the girl mentions that the boy is "hard".
This was an awkward moment when B and I looked at each other and then said with much enthusiasm that it was getting late and everyone should go to bed.

I wonder if my parents felt the same way when we saw Conan The Barbarian on Preview the first time. Or Quest for Fire. It was probably worse. I think I was 9 or 10 watching those movies.

I feel awkward enough watching sex scenes with my husband. I can only imagine what it will be like when the kids are old enough to watch such things.

It's not that I'm a prude, but porn really does nothing for me and drawn out movie sex scenes just kind of get old after a few minutes.
But I guess it is my little opinion against the world.
Enjoy your long sex scenes you perverts.

Anyhow, Moonrise Kingdom was a great movie and the kids liked it. I'll let them see the rest of it. I recommend it, but be prepared to either fast forward or feel really awkward for a minute.
Christ-the parents of the kids in the movie must have been saying, "Oh God" to themselves at the movie premiere sitting next to their kids that were in the movie. I bet that was wierd.

Moving on. I got braces. I am a brace face.
It is a good thing because I have always disliked my teeth. I got made fun of a lot in school, especially junior high. The other kids used to call me "rat" and say I was ugly. All sorts of charming cruel things that pre-teens are famous for.


Funny thing. I have not been in junior high for over 25 years, but some of the shit those people used to say to me still sting. The treatment I got way back then really infiltrated my psyche. My perception of how I think people think of me is really out of whack. Anyways,at least I think it is

I used to think that people didn't like me. I would actually get shocked sometimes when people let their kids over my house to play with my kids because in the back of my head I'm still stamped as someone who should be avoided or made fun of.

My favorite example was my friend Joanna's first offer of friendship to me. We both were bringing our kids to swim classes. Her kids were right before mine. She came up to me and gave me her card and said that we should get coffee sometime.
I looked at the card and noted that she had an MSW. I instantly thought that I must really look like I need help or something.

I'm learning over time that people do not instantly think I am a bad person just by looking at me. I'm getting over my annoying social phobias bit by bit and over time I've been letting go of a lot of the bad things that were done and said to me so long ago.
Not everything was all that bad either. I had some friends at school and I have some very good friends that I still have had since even before I was a teenager. Not a lot of people can say that.

I got braces because I need implants (tooth, not boobs just for the record). I want to have a full decent set of teeth that will take me far into old age. If the world is still here after December 21st of course.
But I also got braces for that little girl who felt ugly and lonely and unliked.
I have come a long long way from being that little girl, but she's still around.
Despite what all those other people said. I never thought she was all that bad.

No One Sleeps Naked in This House: Because Catching up is Hard to Do

No One Sleeps Naked in This House: Because Catching up is Hard to Do: I have OCD. It is a fairly mild case. More of an obssesive thought thing that involves me worrying about whether or not I locked the doors t...

No One Sleeps Naked in This House: Because Catching up is Hard to Do

No One Sleeps Naked in This House: Because Catching up is Hard to Do: I have OCD. It is a fairly mild case. More of an obssesive thought thing that involves me worrying about whether or not I locked the doors t...

Because Catching up is Hard to Do

I have OCD. It is a fairly mild case. More of an obssesive thought thing that involves me worrying about whether or not I locked the doors to the car or if I closed the curtains to all of the bedroom windows because that is what will keep out those Salem's Lot vampires. I admit fully that that thought kept me up for an extra 10 minutes last night, but I fought it, the curtains stayed open in the girls room and I am very happy to report that they are not vampires this morning,although G has a large welt on the back of her neck from some sort of bite....
Ok, so this OCD is making me obssessed with little snippets that I have been wanting to share here because I think that they are worthwhile for some reason. Out pops my other demon--procrastination. So I am going to re-cap a few silly things I have wanted to tell you about, then I can move on. There.

To start. I have been married for 10 years as of October 19th. It has been a happy satisfying affair for the most part. Few bumps in the road. But that comes with the territory. I think one of the best things about being married to my husband is that I learn new things about him all the time. Take this past Sunday for instance.

I was planning dinner for the evening and I was going to make German macaroni salad. I usually make potato salad to go with it and breaded and fried pork chops. I always place a Kaopectate tablet and a defibrillator in arms reach just to be safe, but damn it's good. I asked B if he wanted potato salad. He said, "Do whatever you want to do." I decided that since it was a busy day, I was going to skip the potato salad, because that was what I wanted to do. Later on, B said, "What? No potato salad?" I replied that I did not think that he cared. Evidently "Do whatever you want to do" means, "do what I want you to do, but you need to figure out exactly what it is." So in the end it means to make the fucking potato salad I guess.

This summer, I learned that B and I share my brain. He relies on my brain to keep track of our finances, appointments for the whole family, where things are, what we need to buy anywhere, birthdays, you name it. Sometimes I think that having to remember whose socks are whose takes up so much brain space that it is beginning to interfere with basic thought processes. I'll be accidently stabbing myself in the eye with a fork while trying to stick it in my mouth before you know it.

I realized this whole brain thing while we were folding laundry. I kept having to tell B the difference between my underwear and both of my daughters. I told him that he should be more forgiving of me when I forgot something, or said something dumb because all of the brain space I had to use to know where the socks go. He recognized this and pointed out that using my brain for these menial tasks allows him to use his brain space for important things, like political polls and hockey scores.

Since my epiphany, B has become a little protective of my brain space. He got panicky after I packed a small knife in our cooler for the trip to NJ so I could cut things. He said in a very worried voice that he was worried that thinking about where to put the knife where we wouldn't forget it will make the brain tired. I don't know if he was entirely kidding, and yes he refers to my brain as "the brain".

That jerk. I already reminded him this weekend that certain things will play a role in deciding who changes his diapers later in life. Me or Barry the surly CNA with chapped hands.
(I know I posted it already on Facebook-thought it was good enough to say it again.)


Later on in our trip, he was slumped at the computer trying to get tickets for our trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. He looked weary and very frustrated. I patted him gently on the shoulder and said, "Don't worry, the brain will help you" as I took the laptop out of his hands.

I'm looking at the time and have noticed that it is getting late and I have to go and work on my story. I'm participating in NaNoWriMo and I am very far behind. So I shall call my catch up posts the trilogy, This will be #1-The Brain, followed by #2-Braces and #3 Burt Reynolds-the mustached fish.

But before I go, Halloween night was a lot of fun this year. A bit sad because I knew that in other parts of the country, the lights were out and some people had lost their homes and lives. But, I was so happy to see that right before sunset, on that rather damp day, the air suddenly crisped up, and it was Halloween weather in what seemed like an instant. I was putting the Jack O Lantern's outside and I swear I felt the turn. It was Halloween magic. Thank you Great Pumpkin! Here are a few photos. I loved my pumpkins and have to show them one last time.



Barnabus Collins, The Doctor and a Dalek

I was Lizzie Borden


I was annoyed with the kids for demanding a Dalek pumpkin, but then it came out really nice



Owl


I carve a Cyclops every year in memory of my friend, Gig, who carved me my very first Cyclops pumpkin.



And the kids call this one the Vampire Platypus



And the Classic



Back again later, or tomorrow or most likely next week.

Happy Halloween

I started to write a post during Sandy but scrapped it. I've been meaning to write more today but between planting garlic because the Farmer's Almanac told me to and shopping for a new washing machine, I simply ran out of time. L just came home and I find it hard to do any sort of writing with anyone in the house because of the interruptions.

My mechanical/electronic things are starting to turn against me. So far my phone has died, the washing machine was declared dead this morning (for the low price of sixty bucks)and the check engine light went on in my car this morning as well. Great.

My children are always against me. That's just a fact of life for me. It appears that my pets may also being joining the throng.
After carving 5 pumpkins, 1 rather complicated. (the kids forced me) I spent a half hour sweeping and mopping up pumpkin guts. B was home so I made a point of being very thorough as I knew that trying to take shortcuts would earn me some sort of remark that would go straight up my ass.
I was finally finished and putting things away when I saw my cat drag her butthole down the entire length of the hall way, tumbling in her wake was a large lump of turd, still attached to her ass by a few hairs. (She eats dust bunnies) I shook my head, feeling a bit defeated and thought to myself that it just couldn't be coincidence.

In honor of Halloween I'd like to share a very funny conversation that I had with my daughter last night. They are very nervous about Halloween as you can imagine, with the weather being what it has been this week. G asked me what kind of candy I bought to give out. B said that it was the kind that you eat. I said to her, "Yes, as opposed to the kind that you have to put in your ass." B then spoke of these "rectal chocolates" being all the rage in Asia and the Middle East. I followed him up with a lecture of my own about being her age and the only kind of candy we had was the kind that we had to shove up our asses. Uphill. In a snowstorm. And we were thankful for it.
Of course she didn't believe a word I said, but it was a good laugh.

And last, on this All Hallow's Eve, be sure to take a moment to think of all those people who suffered devastation from Sandy. I still get to dress up and take the kids out, I have Jack O Lantern's and a home to put them in. For thank I am very, very thankful.
Happy Halloween!

F@*king NED

I promised to write a post a few days back about getting braces, the brain I share with my husband and the high cost of church going. This is not that post.

It has been crazy around here and I am suffocating at the moment under a mountainous pile of little things that need to get done, in addition to a lot of big things. I am trying not to get overwhelmed.

So one of my little things is going around the house and getting rid of stuff that has accumulated over the years. I dream of big empty spaces all over my house. In the meantime, the shit is piling up.

A few days back, I threw a NED yo-yo in the Salvation Army bag. The NED yo-yo is an overpriced yo-yo that is periodically sold at my children's school. It is supposed to foster self-esteem or prevent bullying through the art of yo-yo-ing or some crap like that. The damn things are expensive. Seeing as how the kids bought their NED yo-yo's 2 years back and never touched them again, I felt very safe in my decision to throw that yo-yo in the bag.

I think it was the very next day I pulled a NED advertisement for the fucking yo-yos out of G's book bag.

Just today my son came running up to me begging for a NED yo-yo. He was so angry that I said no he stepped on my foot.

Ironic. As ironic as the time I invited my friend out to coffee at a particular coffee shop for the sole purpose of avoiding a certain person, only to look up while sitting there to see that person smiling at me. But I suspect I told that story.

I think I have always struggled with the true, correct definition of irony. I blame Alanis Morrisette. But situations like this silly one make me really feel the meaning.

On a side note, It was G's stupid yo-yo that I got rid of. She had been keeping V's safe in her dresser for the past 2 years. So V got his yo-yo. Because G was so nice to keep V's yo-yo safe, she and I are splitting the cost of a new yo-yo, which she will bring into my cluttered house to add to the pile of untouched crap after a week I'm sure.

Thanks a fucking lot, NED

September

I think that next year I'm going to use the months of July and August to prepare for September. September is fucking crazy for me. We even threw in a road trip to boot. So now it's October. What I should be doing right now is working on my story so that that it will be done in time to start a new one for NaNoWriMo. I should be filling up the honey jars that just came in the mail or I should be down at the beehive taking out the drone comb and putting on the mouse guard for the Winter. Nope, I'm here. procrastinating again. I procrastinate writing blog posts as well so I feel like I am accomplishing a little something at least. Here are some pictures of what's been going on lately.
We took a road trip to Chicago. All 5 of us. I am not in jail for infanticide. I know! Amazing! It was actually an excellent time and I can't wait for our next trip

Here is V at the very scenic NJ spot


We went to yet another f-ing zoo and fed the stingrays, which was my favorite



We discovered a Dalek in the window somewhere in the North End of Chicago.



The clouds in the mountains were beautiful, but I was scared shitless



I hate heights. Especially when B drives up and down mountain roads like a maniac and the kids are in back gleefully yelling, "ROLLER COASTER!"

Here are a few random images:



I like the sign and the kids like posing with their stuffed animals for every damn picture.

I just liked this sign too.

And I finally harvested honey for the first time. 15 months of waiting finally paid off. I got just over 2 gallons. Here are some pictures of that:

The harvest itself went very smoothly thanks to Jessica. I put on a contraption called a bee escape and the next day I just took off the honey super and ran


Honeycomb!


A visitor hoping for a handout. I smeared a little honey on the screen for her.


OK-I have run out of steam. I need to bottle honey, fold laundry, and brush my teeth. Come back and hopefully tomorrow when I'll talk about my new braces, the brain that I share with my husband and how the church he makes me go to is putting us in the poor house!

A Catch Up

I am very determined to write something today. The Universe is against me but I will write something even though all of the kids are awake and making themselves breakfast and playing video games. (They have the day off from school because it's Yom Kippur) There will be a fight soon. Any second. The dog is whining because it needs to go out, the cat is becoming violent because she is hungry. The dog and the cat will fight soon I'm sure. But I am determined to put a little something out there.

It is a very busy time of the year. Summer is crazy with the kids and their activities, then the long vacation and what unfolds there and then school and summer's end, with the cleaning and organizing chores. We also took a road trip to Chicago to see my brother and his family last week. And honey, I got some honey from my lovely bees slowly straining in a bucket in the kitchen as I write this. The fulfillment of 15 months, waiting and hoping.
I have a lot of things I want to write about here and share. I have a ton of catching up to do.

The garden was a struggle this year with the evil Groundhogs wreaking havoc. they are still there, get rid of one and another comes along. Here is the latest, the big Kahuna, the Devil's Marmot, mother of them all, skillfully hand caught by the ladies in the office at my garden:



Despite this glorious victory and all of the fencing we put up, and the cayenne pepper we liberally sprinkled all over the Goddamn place, we are still getting them. My kale is destroyed as are many tomatoes and a watermelon. That's just a few things. Next year, we are considering electric fencing and/or perhaps hiring a sniper. My daughter is interested in falconry, but that is a long way off.

Gardening is difficult and heartbreaking at times. You grow plants from seed, painstakingly raising them, watering, feeding, pruning. Then some fuzzy fucking lawnmower comes along and mows it all down. I wouldn't mind sharing a few things, but groundhogs just take it all.

There were times this year, especially after they got through my defenses again, that I wanted to throw in the towel and give up, but I kept on going, and will continue to do so. Here is a sample why, despite pests, diseases and weather, I will still garden at my spot in defiance of it all.







That sunflower was a small seedling that I grew in the garden at my house. A bird came along and snipped it off at the base. I found it before it wilted and put it in a glass of water. B put some hormone powder on it and we stuck it in a pot to see what would happen. That enormous sunflower happened.
It's still there too, standing tall, with it's head half eaten off and all of the seeds gone.I managed to get some of the seeds for myself, to plant next year.

So when I get down about the Kale and the Brussels Sprouts, I think of my sunflower, which came back after being struck down. I think to myself, "Fuck you Groundhog." and then plan for next year.

I have to go and find a small plastic alligator before my daughter loses her mind and walk the dog before he shits on the floor.

Picking Some Magic

First day of school-Hot Damn! I love this commercial




I woke B up this morning. He raised himself up on one elbow and gave me a quizzical look.

I asked him what the look was for and he said that what I was doing was really attractive. I asked him what was so attractive and said that me standing at the foot of the bed and picking my nose was.

I said "No way I was picking!" triumphantly holding up the wad of tissue that I had been screwing up my nostril while telling him that his 5 minutes was up, time to get out of bed.
"I'm really glad you noticed" I continued, "Because I was thinking to myself this morning, what would be the best way to keep the magic in our relationship? Then it dawned on me that standing at the foot of the bed and shoving toilet paper up my nose with a blank look on my face would be the absolute best way to add some spice. Don't you think so, honey?" I said as I kissed him on the temple.

Brian sighed and shook his head. Overwhelmed by the headiness of the moment I suppose.

On My Way

Five minutes from now, I will wake up my minions and head North.

I am very, very ready to go home. I miss L, my bees, I miss my dog and cat. I actually miss Horst a bit. I miss my whole little life up there and can't wait to get back.

I wanted to write while I was down here, but only managed 1 blog post. So much for my story, I didn't even touch it.

I have that picture of the Looney Tunes frog on my profile for a reason. I have to be alone to write and it was quite difficult in a house full of people.

That will change in 3 days, when B is at work and the kids head back to school.

I have been taking some notes of things I want to share, so I'm hoping to do some fun blog posts as well as finish my fucking story once and for all.

See you in a few!

Awkward Moment

Hello from the wilds of the Jersey Shore!

We got down here yesterday to enjoy our annual August visit.
No, we are not here to see the cast members of the Jersey Shore. In fact, I despise that show because every time it's this scenario:
"Yeah, we're going to NJ to visit B's parents."
"Really, what part?"
(Here is where I get tense)
"The Jersey shore."
"Oh yeah!" (person becomes animated) "Like the show, do you ever watch that?"
I shake my head no sadly and try to change the subject.
I hate that show.

I was in the drug store today, just a little Mom&Pop store down the street from B's parents. I was there to purchase 2 unisex unmentionables for both my husband and I. I say unisex unmentionables because A: I will not divulge to the public what I was getting for my husband, and B: as far as feminine products go, I do not classify them as unmentionables. If I have to buy tampons/pads or one just happens to fall out out my purse or pocket, I consider that as a sort of warning shot to any person who may be watching. It is my silent way of telling people it is that special time and not to fuck with me. I carry them proudly to to the cash register.

It was a different story with what I was getting today. The items were the ones you sheepishly place upon the counter while avoiding eye contact with the cashier.

As I was searching for these things,I heard someone say my last name. I looked up to see my mother in law at the counter picking up a prescription. I was taken aback a bit, having just left her at the house not 15 minutes before. I considered hiding behind a self until she left. She'd never recognize my car in a million years, everyone has the same make and model as me. I'm a stranger in these parts and nobody would even know. I then said to myself, "What the hell am I doing? No one cares what I'm getting or what B is getting. It's B's mother for Christ's sake. If there is anyone in the world who can know about your gross body issues it's a mother!"

I stepped up to the counter, said hello to B's mother, who was surprised to see me at the little pharmacy. She said that she had expected me to go to CVS. I watched her eyes scan my purchases. I smiled at her and said cheerily, "Just picking up a few things for B!"

Just Not Feelin It Today

It wasn't too bad this morning. I got the kids safely through the torrential downpours to camp in a reasonable amount of time. I had coffee with a friend and unloaded a sweater unto her. She is learning to knit as of yesterday here is her first creation




She is very fancy.
That was the aftermath of our first lesson on how to wind a skein of yarn. The elite pay extra to buy a skein of yarn and then wind it into a ball themselves.
We discussed the possibility of maybe, instead of learning to knit, to just have a skein of yarn and some needles artfully lying around for when company comes, but I know she can do it.

I stopped by the garden to find that the Devil's Marmot, the big mother groundhog, waited until right after the downpour washed away the large amount of Cayenne Pepper I dumped all over as a deterrent to break under my fencing and have some lunch.
My carrot tops, my new bokchoy sprouts, my brussels sprouts that were making such a strong comeback.
It really made my day suck.
I'm considering the possibility of just going back to container gardening in my alley. Time that I really can't afford to spare is being wasted on battling this damn thing. I am tired and discouraged.

Ok, tell you what. I'm going to go now. I'm going to take a shower because I am sticky and uncomfortable. I'll be back tomorrow with a better attitude, I promise.

I also journeyed out with Horst just now,to the cobbler. He kept a constant commentary going on about things and hooks and hanging things somewhere. I had no idea what he was talking about. After pulling up to a large pile of vomit at the bank, the commentary changed from "God Knows What" to "How People Cannot Hold Their Liquor"
I almost jumped out of the moving vehicle.
3 more days till vacation.

Tired of Tires

I have been excited for today. I am taking the kids to the Science Museum. I will find a good room for them. Hopefully the one with jars and jars of formaldehyde and rustling dead birds and drop them off. Then I will be free!

No really of course not. They actually have been pretty great lately.

Nope I don't have much today. The only thing is I'd advise anyone who is out and about on the East Side of Providence, where they are working on the sewer lines to use caution when parallel parking on any side street with those thin above ground pipes. I slashed a tire on one of the partially hidden clamps that run every few feet.
The very nice woman who lived at the house directly in front of this evil little screw/clamp combo came out and informed me that I was the fourth person that day to slash their tire. This included the woman, whose car was over at Firestone at that moment getting a new tire.

I have spent at least $800.00 At least, on new tires this year. I must have cursed myself when I bought a new set in preparation for winter last year.

G is Classy

I got up-took my car to the shop and walked home. I was happy to run into one of the neighborhood woodpeckers over on the Parkway. I miss those guys. I havent seen any of them since I had to take the bird feeder down because of the great Rat In The Feeder Debacle of April 2012.

I came home, ready to write and be productive. I proceeded to sit there and go through Twitter and other silly time sucking sites.

The kids woke up with a bang, a thump and a flurry of feet running downstairs. They immediately started fighting. V called G a shithead. I am not sure why. G's response was to simultaneously wave the middle finger at V while giving him the sign (in American Sign Language) for bitch. I asked her if I could video tape her doing this because it was really funny, but she said, "No! that's private!" and stomped away angrily.

I'll try to catch her some other time.

Bibliophile

In the beginning of the summer, I told my sister in law that I would give her a list of books to read and then didn't. I also saw a post from a friend on Facebook asking for some good YA titles.

I think I have said before that I used to feel self conscious about my book choices, having a non-fiction, newspaper reading husband with a big mouth. But I am now much more comfortable in my status of YA/Science Fiction/Fantasy geek.

Here are the books I have read so far. I start my new list of books read on January 1st-I guess it's a lot so far this year.

The Night Circus-Erin Morgenstern
Monsters of Men-Patrick Ness(Chaos Walking Trilogy)
A Monster Calls-Patrick Ness
Steampunk!-short stories by Holly Black, Kelly Link and others
Nocturnes-Jonathan Connolly
The Infernals-Jonathan Connolly
**if you can check out the Book of Lost Things" by Jonathan Connolly-best.book.ever.
Death Comes to Pemberley
Stay Awake-Dan Choban
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children
Good Omens-Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
The Hunger Games-Suzanne Collins
Catching Fire-Suzanne Collins
Bird by Bird-Anne Lamont or Lamott
Mockingjay-Suzanne Collins
Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk by David Sedaris
On Writing-Stephen King
Gods Behaving Badly-Marie Phillips
The Graveyard Book-Neil Gaiman
Willpower
Room
Lamb-Christopher Moore
The Wind in the Keyhole-Stephen King
That's Disgusting-Rachel Herz
**Then I read the Hunger Games trilogy again to decide if they were actually good (they are) so that counts for three more books**
Gregor the Overlander-Suzanne Collins
Gregor and the Prophecy of the Bane-Suzanne Collins
Daughter of Smoke and Bone-Laini Taylor
Anansi Boys-Neil Gaiman
Neverwhere-Neil Gaiman
Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
This is How-Augusten Burroughs
American Gods-Neil Gaiman

I think that's 34?
I'm on a roll. For the record, these books are all good books that I found to be worth reading. If I start reading a book and find that after a few chapters, I can't get into it, I will put it down and read something else. I'm getting too old to waste my time.

Horst is back from vacation..He just came upstairs to give me the weather report for New England and Texas. I guess my day can begin now.