Wednesday, February 08, 2017

Don't Stop Believing

Don't Stop Believin' by Journey came on this morning as I was driving the kids to school.

A few weeks ago, bored during a hockey game, I forced her into a duet when the same song came on.

"G!" I exclaimed, turning the volume up, "It's our song!"

After singing along loudly for a few verses, I informed her that I was planning on playing this song at  top volume every time I picked her up from any where.  I told her it will get to the point where if any of her friend's hear that song in the distance, they will say, "Here comes G's mother!"

I looked over at her and removed the hand closest to her from the wheel to ward off any sudden blows and reminded her that it was against the rules to hit the driver.

"I am punching you in my head." was her curt reply.

Sunday, January 01, 2017

Happy New Year!

We started out New Years Eve Day with a trip to Bass Pro and plans for more later things to do later in the evening.

Here is Von posing with the turtles of Bass Pro.

We had an excellent time shutting down the people selling cheap vacations that involve sitting in on a time share promo.

We endured the time share selling rodeo back in June and won't be doing that again anytime soon, thank you very much.

Happily, Brian and I are now quite immune to the "hard sell" after an incident several years ago where we ended up with several well-doctored family portraits on Irish linen that are sitting in various locations of our house collecting dust.

One asshole even tried to refer to me as "young lady" in order to get me to speak to him.

Refer to me as "young lady" and I will definitely not buy your product

But I will definitely fantasize about punching you in the money maker.

So we started at Bass Pro and ended here:

Does Von know how to party or what?

Just looking at the size of that bag of fluids makes me want to void. 

So all joking aside, and I know this smacks of typical social media overshare, but the reason why I am in fact sharing this is because look.

Look how quickly things can take a turn.

Shit like this can happen in a matter of seconds.

I am fortunate as is Von and our family. We honestly thought he was having a stroke. Turned out to be a kind of migraine that has similar symptoms.

He is OK. We made it home just before midnight.

Von rang in the New Year sound asleep and I rang it in at my usual post, sleeping on the couch.

So folks, remember how quickly life can take a turn and if you think you have it bad now, just wait a few minutes.

Appreciate anything that you have that you can appreciate.

Especially your loved ones.

So to start off the New Years I would like to say to all of my loved ones who are reading this-

"I love you very very much to all of you out there that I am so fucking fortunate to have in my life. I love you and appreciate the shit out of you. Thank you for putting up with me."

And I love the rest of you just for being here.

And now we got that out of the way, back to my traditional New Years Day Posting

I did not read as many books as I would have liked to this year.

I read a lot of crap books which I am almost embarrassed to list, I think it was the state of my mind at the time.

Like the time I read all of the 50 Shades of Grey books and blamed it on having the Lyme disease.

I will blame work stress on this year's crappy choices.

Next year I hope to make some changes and again be able to have more time to read.

I gotta warn you though, next year probably 50% of what will be on the list will be bee related books as I am now actively studying so I can try for a Master Beekeeper certification at EAS next summer.

 2016 Reading List

  1. Sex Tips from Rock Stars
  2. Saga vol 1******
  3. Can We Talk About Something More Pleasant?*** (Got a hoarder in your family? Read this-you are not alone.)
  4. Saga vol 2******
  5. Sandman Overture
  6. White Line Fever
  7. Saga vol 3******
  8. Saga vol 4******
  9. Saga vol 5******
  10. Revival
  11. The Green Mile-The Two Dead Girls
  12. The Green Mile-The Mouse on The Mile
  13. The Green Mile-Coffey's Hand
  14. The Green Mile-Night Journey
  15. The Green Mile-The Bad death of Edward Delacroix
  16. The Green Mile-Coffey on The Mile
  17. The Library At Mount Char-********I re-read this book 3 times for a total of 4 
  18. A Gathering Of Shadows
  19. Come Closer
  20. Fuck It
  21. Whole 30 
  22. Ten Grand vol 1***
  23. Ten Grand vol 2***
  24. Equal Rites*******
  25. Ten Grand vol 3***
  26. Wyrd Sisters********
  27. The Ballad of Black Tom
  28. The Art of Asking
  29. Remember Why You Fear Me 
  30. In a Dark Dark Woo
  31. Saga vol 6******
  32. The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms**
  33. Honeybees and Their Maladies
  34. Me Before You
  35. The City of Mirror
  36. Court of Fives***
  37. The Devourers-******** read this one 2x
  38. The Queen of The Tearling******* I read this one 2x
  39. The Poisoned Blade
  40. Obelisk Gate
  41. The Invasion of The Tearling-*******I read this 2x
  42. Redemption In Indigo*********
  43. Brooklyn
  44. The Sting of The Wild********-I love this guy
  45. Dark Harvest
  46. Jaran***
  47. The Beauty vol 1
  48. The Golem and The Jinni******

So actually, if you count me re-reads I read 54 books for the year. 

Not too bad for a busy lady. 

I would say my hands down favorites for the year were The Library At Mount Char,  The Devourers and Redemption and Indigo
Followed by the Tearling Books and Sting of The Wild. 

And if you get a chance for fuck's sake please start reading Saga (I have them all. If I like you and trust you to keep my babies safe until you return them, I will let you borrow them).

Happy and Healthy New Years

Be sure to enjoy and appreciate these last 20 days!

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Solstice wishes

Happy Winter Solstice! 

It is the longest night of the year. 

It has been said by some Druid-y types that the solstice is the most important day, as it is the day we welcome in the new sun. 

Starting tomorrow, although it is hard to tell, the days will slowly start to get longer and longer and soon enough we will return to sunnier, warmer times. 

There will be dark days ahead I am sure. 

But on this, the day of the longest night of the year, I want to take a moment to send much light and warmth to my loved ones. 

I am truly blessed and grateful to have you all in my life. 

Thank you.

(and I just puked a little in my mouth....)

Happy Solstice!

Saturday, December 10, 2016

Thinking Bout Barb

I meant to write something post election and I am still trying to figure that out.

 I am skipping that this morning in favor of writing about my mother.

Today marks the 15th anniversary of Barbara's passing.

I have been without a mother for quite some time now.

I have been thinking about her quite often lately.

I remember her at the same age I am today.

I know that she wanted more and it just never happened for her.

I like to think that I got a lot of really great things from my mom.

My mother, Barbara, was a good person, a wonderfully kind person.

Barbara was accepting of anyone and everyone.

Barbara would give you the shirt off her back.

In that way, I wish that there were more people out there like my mother.

We all have inherited many of the same traits that our parents possessed.

Some of them no so desirable.

Barbara lacked the confidence in her self so much, that all she could do was watch TV and read books that she never finished.

There were so many things that she couldn't do or just never did.

My mother was afraid to try.

Our lives are drastically different but at the same time, the similarities are there and very striking.

I realized that recently and it scared me.

Those traits, those behaviors, have sneaky ways.

Before you know it, you will realize that the same things that held your parents back from actually having a happy life are the very same things that have been holding you back as well.

My life and the way my mother's life ended up are very different but at the same time, the similarities are there and very striking.

I'm working on that.

I've been working on that.

Consider it my life's project.

So I ask you, today, the day of Barbara's passing, to think of her if you could.

Be extra kind today

Be extra tolerant and accepting of the people around you.

And maybe, take a look at your own, sneaky patterns of behavior in your life that are holding you back or hurting you or someone close to you.

Think about fixing them.

I think Barbara would like that.


Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Gourd Cult

Repeat after me:

When you look into the display of decorative squash, 

The decorative squash looks into you.

You do not choose the mutant gourd.

The mutant gourd chooses you.

You do not reap the freaky-assed harvest.

The freaky-assed harvest reaps you.

Happy Fall.

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

3 word Motivation

**Please forgive my typos as this is a pre-work post**

I hate sports.

When people first start dating, they usually will try to hide some of their more unsavory characteristics from their partner, at least for the first six months.

B hid a thing or two.

I hid my hatred for sports.

It started when I was little. I grew up in a house of sports fans.

If there was a game on, my shows, my cartoons would be changed to whatever stupid sport was on.

I decided then and there, that I would never like sports.

Purely out of spite and stubbornness. (I get this trait from Horst)

Lo and behold, I married a sports fan.

I read a lot now.

With all the sports, TV is often unavailable.

But I'm not here to talk about my dislike of any and all sports.

I am here to talk about the stubbornness thing.

It has been a bad few months.

You know that old saying, "No good deed goes unpunished"

That happened and I was given a task that I did not want, do not like and really has brought me down in many ways.

My anxiety has been through the roof.

I am very unhappy in my present situation.

I have a long term plan and changes are coming soon.

But not soon enough for the way that I have been feeling.

(By the way, this does not have anything to do with my domestic situation, still happy with B, despite his love of sports... You can do the math, if you like)

The past few days have been the worst,  I was low.

I was done, I was so close to walking away.

It is definitely not the time to do that, but I couldn't bear another second.

Then, this little feeling grew.

An angry defiant little feeling

It blossomed overnight.

I am for the first time, ready to face the day without a knot of anxiety in my stomach.

Sometimes, when you have exhausted all of your energy that comes from the usual channels, you can find new resolve to stay the course from anger, spite and stubborn resolve.

Today, as I go about my business, doing what I have to do, I have three little words that will keep me going.

If you are at your wits end, ready to throw in the towel, and you have to just keep going because there is no other choice, please feel free to use them as well.

In your head, out loud, up to you.

Today I just have to keep going, this next year, this last year,  I'm still here,

because fuck you.

Friday, September 16, 2016

Pride and Time

How enjoyable my day off will be, is measured by how many early morning work calls I receive and whether or not I get shit on my hands while picking up after the dogs during our early morning walk.

I got the call but managed to avoid the shit.

Barely, but I did it.

I have that new puppy. Time for me is now measured in the increments that Klaus is in his crate and when he is not.

On Sunday August 28th, 10:00 am, I dropped Horst off at the airport for his 12:20 flight to Chicago. He was off to visit my brother and his family for two weeks.

Later on that evening, I shaved his cat.

The fur on her back had tangled into a turtle shell shaped mass that could have probably stopped bullets if I let it go any longer.

On Sunday September 4th,  B and I spent the entire day dusting and steam cleaning the rugs in his apartment.

This task cannot be completed while Horst is present, so once a year, we take the opportunity to do so while he is away.

Here is a list of the things I found:

  • an electric cat comb. 
  • A "self-groomer" that consists of an oversized pipe cleaner attached to a wooden base. The feline is compelled through magic or otherwise, to walk under the device and groom itself, leaving the pet owner to do many other useful things things with the 2 minutes that would have been wasted running a brush through the cat's fur. 
  • 3 sandwich press machines
  • 3 electric skillets
  • a myriad of other devices that seem to exist to either save time or somehow make the user's life easier. These items best not be named lest I write the wrong thing and invoke a malevolent deity.
  • His used Ziplock bag collection-which he hid in a different spot this year, thinking I wouldn't find them.
  • Assorted sizes of old and stained Rubbermaid containers. I discarded them in the hopes that it would encourage him to use the brand new containers he has languishing in his cupboards.
  • A small population of grain weevils living in his pet food bin. This was a change from last year, in which a small civilization of Carpet Beetles had established itself inside the used Ziplock bin.
All of the gadgets mentioned were either beneath a thick layer of dust or still brand new, encased in their original packaging. 

I believe now that Horst has been heavily influenced by the Jetson's and wishes that we lived in a world in which we can press a button and presto! our tasks are completed by a machine.

Between Aug 28th and Horst's return on September 10th, B and I logged in at least 16 hours of cleaning, cat care and grooming as well as shopping for Horst's apartment. We spent an estimated $200.00 on new pillows for his couch, cat items and cleaning equipment. 

But all in all, I will say that the whole process was far less painful then last year's apartment purge.

Just like last year, we did not receive a "thank you" for any of these things. 

That is fine. 

I learned a long time ago that this is not due to Horst being unkind, but because it is very awkward and difficult for him to either express gratitude or to apologize. 

He is a prideful man.

On Saturday, September 10th, I had to apologize for throwing away his dirty tupperware. We had left Horst with only subpar containers in which to make his vast amounts of deli salads. 

On Sunday, September 11th,  I passed beyond the rage membrane to a sort of murderous serenity while Horst explained to me at length, over Sunday dinner, why you can't run a dehumidifier in a basement with the window open on a humid day. (The window was closed the whole time the device was running in his apartment, I will add.)

Horst loves feeling superior. As I said, he is a prideful man.

Nothing gives him greater joy than to grasp an opportunity to point out a problem or where you went wrong.

He also absolutely loves it when you have to ask him for something.

Perhaps when it gets closer to Thanksgiving I will tell you all about how I purchase cranberry sauce out of spite.

On Tuesday, September 13th, I hung my head and made my walk of shame down to the basement to fetch one of his gadgets. 

You see, as I was cooking, a piece of kielbasa fell between the stove and the wall. In moving the stove, my toast inside a toaster salt and pepper shaker fell behind the stove. 

The only way to retrieve it was with Horst's special rubber tipped grabber tongs. 

You have no idea how much joy it would bring to my father, knowing that I needed one of the same  gadgets that I always complain about. 

My joy rests in never ever letting him know.