Happy New Year!

It certainly has been awhile...

Both the number of postings and my reading list for this year are very skimpy.  2017 has both kept me away from the things I love the most and also brought me to things that I love the most. I am thankful for it all.

The ending months were a whirlwind. Horst's cancer and the need to prepare for his return with a remodel of his apartment, on top of my excessive demands at work (On call 24/7) not to mention the needs of my family, left me a complete mess. I've had years of excellent therapy, so I presented myself well (at least I think so), but I started to forget things, couldn't focus and had anxiety attacks that either went on for days or would start and stop at the drop of a hat.

I felt like I was drowning. Something had to give.

I read this story once about this man walking by a farm house. He hears this awful howling. He asks the farmer, who is sitting on the porch, what was causing the terrible howling. The farmer replies that it was his dog, sitting on a nail. The man asks why the dog doesn't just sit up and get off it.
The farmer replies, "Doesn't hurt enough yet."

I finally got up off my nail and asked for help. My doctor took me out of work.

It was one less thing. One less very big thing that allowed me to deal with a lot of shit. Do a lot of thinking. Peel away layers of shit. Silencing many demons that whispered awful things into my ears.

No hard feelings to my demons, they just wanted to keep me safe, but they were holding me back.
As demons do.

I am thankful for the time I've been gifted and I hope that I am using it well. I've been resting and thinking, but also preparing for the many big changes lie ahead for me.

The coming changes are terrifying but,  now that I am up off the nail, why stop there?

I am hoping that this year brings me to my keyboard and into beehives more often and to more good books. Most importantly, I'm hoping 2018 continues to bring me into the company of those I love the most, my family and my friends (who are all really one in the same).  I love you and thank you.

I hope this coming year brings you all whatever you are hoping for. Thanks for coming by and reading my little blog.

It's time for the annual list. Same rules apply, asterisk for the really good ones and yes I include graphic novels. I've gotten to the point where if I don't like a book I don't finish it so you can safely assume I would recommend any one of these. I did not add anything I did not finish by the 31st.  I put everything on GoodReads this year and was really bad about recording them. 2018 I think I will go back to writing them down in my journal as well.

And now, my reading list for 2017:

 1. The Little Book of Hygge (Wiking)
 2. The Golem and The Jinni (Wecker) re-read*
 3. The Fate of The Tearling (Johansen)
 4. Norse Mythology (Gaiman)
 5. Shadow and Claw (Wolfe)
 6. A Conjuring of Light (Schwab)
 7. Saga vol. 7 (Vaughn & Staples)******
 8. Strange The Dreamer (Taylor)
 9.  The Library At Mount Char (Hawkins)  re-read*
10. Queen Rearing Essentials (Connor)
11. The Vegetarian (Han)
12. Presence (Cuddy)
13. 100 Plants to Feed The Bees (Xerces Society)
14. Six Of Crows (Bardugo)**
15. Garden Plants For Honey Bees (Lindtner)
16. The Sound Of Language (Malladi)
17. Gifts (Le Guin)**
18. Increase Essentials (Connor)
19. Crooked Kingdom (Bardugo)**
20. Ubik (Dick)
21. How To Get Dressed (Freer)**
22. Voices (Le Guin)
23. The Eyes Of The Dragon (King) re-read
24. The Language Of Thorns (Bardugo)**
25 and 26.  Station Eleven (St. John-Mandel) **********
27. Slade House (Mitchell)
28. You Can Buy Happiness (Strobel)
29. Annihilation (VanderMeer)
30. Simple, Smart Beekeeping (Shoshanna-Traynor)
31. Saga vol. 8 (Vaughn & Staples)**
32. Good Omens (Pratchett and Gaiman) re-read**
33. The Honey Month (El-Mohtar)***********

Thanks for reading and I wish you and yours the Happiest of  New Year's!