Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Picking Some Magic

First day of school-Hot Damn! I love this commercial

I woke B up this morning. He raised himself up on one elbow and gave me a quizzical look.

I asked him what the look was for and he said that what I was doing was really attractive. I asked him what was so attractive and said that me standing at the foot of the bed and picking my nose was.

I said "No way I was picking!" triumphantly holding up the wad of tissue that I had been screwing up my nostril while telling him that his 5 minutes was up, time to get out of bed.
"I'm really glad you noticed" I continued, "Because I was thinking to myself this morning, what would be the best way to keep the magic in our relationship? Then it dawned on me that standing at the foot of the bed and shoving toilet paper up my nose with a blank look on my face would be the absolute best way to add some spice. Don't you think so, honey?" I said as I kissed him on the temple.

Brian sighed and shook his head. Overwhelmed by the headiness of the moment I suppose.

Sunday, August 26, 2012

On My Way

Five minutes from now, I will wake up my minions and head North.

I am very, very ready to go home. I miss L, my bees, I miss my dog and cat. I actually miss Horst a bit. I miss my whole little life up there and can't wait to get back.

I wanted to write while I was down here, but only managed 1 blog post. So much for my story, I didn't even touch it.

I have that picture of the Looney Tunes frog on my profile for a reason. I have to be alone to write and it was quite difficult in a house full of people.

That will change in 3 days, when B is at work and the kids head back to school.

I have been taking some notes of things I want to share, so I'm hoping to do some fun blog posts as well as finish my fucking story once and for all.

See you in a few!

Monday, August 20, 2012

Awkward Moment

Hello from the wilds of the Jersey Shore!

We got down here yesterday to enjoy our annual August visit.
No, we are not here to see the cast members of the Jersey Shore. In fact, I despise that show because every time it's this scenario:
"Yeah, we're going to NJ to visit B's parents."
"Really, what part?"
(Here is where I get tense)
"The Jersey shore."
"Oh yeah!" (person becomes animated) "Like the show, do you ever watch that?"
I shake my head no sadly and try to change the subject.
I hate that show.

I was in the drug store today, just a little Mom&Pop store down the street from B's parents. I was there to purchase 2 unisex unmentionables for both my husband and I. I say unisex unmentionables because A: I will not divulge to the public what I was getting for my husband, and B: as far as feminine products go, I do not classify them as unmentionables. If I have to buy tampons/pads or one just happens to fall out out my purse or pocket, I consider that as a sort of warning shot to any person who may be watching. It is my silent way of telling people it is that special time and not to fuck with me. I carry them proudly to to the cash register.

It was a different story with what I was getting today. The items were the ones you sheepishly place upon the counter while avoiding eye contact with the cashier.

As I was searching for these things,I heard someone say my last name. I looked up to see my mother in law at the counter picking up a prescription. I was taken aback a bit, having just left her at the house not 15 minutes before. I considered hiding behind a self until she left. She'd never recognize my car in a million years, everyone has the same make and model as me. I'm a stranger in these parts and nobody would even know. I then said to myself, "What the hell am I doing? No one cares what I'm getting or what B is getting. It's B's mother for Christ's sake. If there is anyone in the world who can know about your gross body issues it's a mother!"

I stepped up to the counter, said hello to B's mother, who was surprised to see me at the little pharmacy. She said that she had expected me to go to CVS. I watched her eyes scan my purchases. I smiled at her and said cheerily, "Just picking up a few things for B!"

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Just Not Feelin It Today

It wasn't too bad this morning. I got the kids safely through the torrential downpours to camp in a reasonable amount of time. I had coffee with a friend and unloaded a sweater unto her. She is learning to knit as of yesterday here is her first creation

She is very fancy.
That was the aftermath of our first lesson on how to wind a skein of yarn. The elite pay extra to buy a skein of yarn and then wind it into a ball themselves.
We discussed the possibility of maybe, instead of learning to knit, to just have a skein of yarn and some needles artfully lying around for when company comes, but I know she can do it.

I stopped by the garden to find that the Devil's Marmot, the big mother groundhog, waited until right after the downpour washed away the large amount of Cayenne Pepper I dumped all over as a deterrent to break under my fencing and have some lunch.
My carrot tops, my new bokchoy sprouts, my brussels sprouts that were making such a strong comeback.
It really made my day suck.
I'm considering the possibility of just going back to container gardening in my alley. Time that I really can't afford to spare is being wasted on battling this damn thing. I am tired and discouraged.

Ok, tell you what. I'm going to go now. I'm going to take a shower because I am sticky and uncomfortable. I'll be back tomorrow with a better attitude, I promise.

I also journeyed out with Horst just now,to the cobbler. He kept a constant commentary going on about things and hooks and hanging things somewhere. I had no idea what he was talking about. After pulling up to a large pile of vomit at the bank, the commentary changed from "God Knows What" to "How People Cannot Hold Their Liquor"
I almost jumped out of the moving vehicle.
3 more days till vacation.

Friday, August 03, 2012

Tired of Tires

I have been excited for today. I am taking the kids to the Science Museum. I will find a good room for them. Hopefully the one with jars and jars of formaldehyde and rustling dead birds and drop them off. Then I will be free!

No really of course not. They actually have been pretty great lately.

Nope I don't have much today. The only thing is I'd advise anyone who is out and about on the East Side of Providence, where they are working on the sewer lines to use caution when parallel parking on any side street with those thin above ground pipes. I slashed a tire on one of the partially hidden clamps that run every few feet.
The very nice woman who lived at the house directly in front of this evil little screw/clamp combo came out and informed me that I was the fourth person that day to slash their tire. This included the woman, whose car was over at Firestone at that moment getting a new tire.

I have spent at least $800.00 At least, on new tires this year. I must have cursed myself when I bought a new set in preparation for winter last year.

Thursday, August 02, 2012

G is Classy

I got up-took my car to the shop and walked home. I was happy to run into one of the neighborhood woodpeckers over on the Parkway. I miss those guys. I havent seen any of them since I had to take the bird feeder down because of the great Rat In The Feeder Debacle of April 2012.

I came home, ready to write and be productive. I proceeded to sit there and go through Twitter and other silly time sucking sites.

The kids woke up with a bang, a thump and a flurry of feet running downstairs. They immediately started fighting. V called G a shithead. I am not sure why. G's response was to simultaneously wave the middle finger at V while giving him the sign (in American Sign Language) for bitch. I asked her if I could video tape her doing this because it was really funny, but she said, "No! that's private!" and stomped away angrily.

I'll try to catch her some other time.

Wednesday, August 01, 2012


In the beginning of the summer, I told my sister in law that I would give her a list of books to read and then didn't. I also saw a post from a friend on Facebook asking for some good YA titles.

I think I have said before that I used to feel self conscious about my book choices, having a non-fiction, newspaper reading husband with a big mouth. But I am now much more comfortable in my status of YA/Science Fiction/Fantasy geek.

Here are the books I have read so far. I start my new list of books read on January 1st-I guess it's a lot so far this year.

The Night Circus-Erin Morgenstern
Monsters of Men-Patrick Ness(Chaos Walking Trilogy)
A Monster Calls-Patrick Ness
Steampunk!-short stories by Holly Black, Kelly Link and others
Nocturnes-Jonathan Connolly
The Infernals-Jonathan Connolly
**if you can check out the Book of Lost Things" by Jonathan Connolly-best.book.ever.
Death Comes to Pemberley
Stay Awake-Dan Choban
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children
Good Omens-Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
The Hunger Games-Suzanne Collins
Catching Fire-Suzanne Collins
Bird by Bird-Anne Lamont or Lamott
Mockingjay-Suzanne Collins
Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk by David Sedaris
On Writing-Stephen King
Gods Behaving Badly-Marie Phillips
The Graveyard Book-Neil Gaiman
Lamb-Christopher Moore
The Wind in the Keyhole-Stephen King
That's Disgusting-Rachel Herz
**Then I read the Hunger Games trilogy again to decide if they were actually good (they are) so that counts for three more books**
Gregor the Overlander-Suzanne Collins
Gregor and the Prophecy of the Bane-Suzanne Collins
Daughter of Smoke and Bone-Laini Taylor
Anansi Boys-Neil Gaiman
Neverwhere-Neil Gaiman
Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
This is How-Augusten Burroughs
American Gods-Neil Gaiman

I think that's 34?
I'm on a roll. For the record, these books are all good books that I found to be worth reading. If I start reading a book and find that after a few chapters, I can't get into it, I will put it down and read something else. I'm getting too old to waste my time.

Horst is back from vacation..He just came upstairs to give me the weather report for New England and Texas. I guess my day can begin now.