Monday, August 20, 2012

Awkward Moment

Hello from the wilds of the Jersey Shore!

We got down here yesterday to enjoy our annual August visit.
No, we are not here to see the cast members of the Jersey Shore. In fact, I despise that show because every time it's this scenario:
"Yeah, we're going to NJ to visit B's parents."
"Really, what part?"
(Here is where I get tense)
"The Jersey shore."
"Oh yeah!" (person becomes animated) "Like the show, do you ever watch that?"
I shake my head no sadly and try to change the subject.
I hate that show.

I was in the drug store today, just a little Mom&Pop store down the street from B's parents. I was there to purchase 2 unisex unmentionables for both my husband and I. I say unisex unmentionables because A: I will not divulge to the public what I was getting for my husband, and B: as far as feminine products go, I do not classify them as unmentionables. If I have to buy tampons/pads or one just happens to fall out out my purse or pocket, I consider that as a sort of warning shot to any person who may be watching. It is my silent way of telling people it is that special time and not to fuck with me. I carry them proudly to to the cash register.

It was a different story with what I was getting today. The items were the ones you sheepishly place upon the counter while avoiding eye contact with the cashier.

As I was searching for these things,I heard someone say my last name. I looked up to see my mother in law at the counter picking up a prescription. I was taken aback a bit, having just left her at the house not 15 minutes before. I considered hiding behind a self until she left. She'd never recognize my car in a million years, everyone has the same make and model as me. I'm a stranger in these parts and nobody would even know. I then said to myself, "What the hell am I doing? No one cares what I'm getting or what B is getting. It's B's mother for Christ's sake. If there is anyone in the world who can know about your gross body issues it's a mother!"

I stepped up to the counter, said hello to B's mother, who was surprised to see me at the little pharmacy. She said that she had expected me to go to CVS. I watched her eyes scan my purchases. I smiled at her and said cheerily, "Just picking up a few things for B!"

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