Wednesday, February 15, 2012

A Poem and Haiku for Heather Jean

So, I ate a lot of my kid's Valentine's candy from school and I am now on a sugar high. So before it wears off, I want to share something that I remembered just now. I was looking for the Valentine from my daughter's current crush, pretended to actually find it and then started pretending to read; "Dearest Gretel, you are the most beautiful girl in the world, Love ____." (I'm withholding the boys name in case of stalkers and whatnot). I was suddenly reminded of a poem that my friend Heather and I spontaneously made up a long long time ago. In honor of Valentine's day, I'd like to share it with the one or two people who actually read this:

A Love Poem
by Cindy and Heather
(copyright 1988)

Oh your hair is like gossamer silk,
your skin is the pale color of milk
Your eyes make me think sweet words of love,
your voice, the cooing of a dove
Your mind is like a fine tuned tuba,
Oh please would you take me to Aruba.
From your feet come the aroma of banana,
Oh please let us go to the Copa Cabana
Your hands are as strong as an ox, I see them and want to eat bagels with lox
Your ears, like a labrador retrievers
Your teeth, like those of Bucky, the beaver
Your lips, like earthworms locked in the sweetest concubine
and from your breath comes the stench of swine.
Your eyes, the color of dog doo
Oh baby, I love you!

Heth and I came up with some pretty sick haikus one time. We came out of a show and some guy gave us a flier for a band called, "Hot Buttered Anus", (We were going to see Underdog at Club Hell, we were NOT at some crazy sex party, just for the record) We came up with the haikus on the drive to Heth's house. we laughed so hard I had to pull the car over.
Here is my haiku. If Heth remembers hers she should tell me and I will place it here.

Hot buttered anus
Glistening and puckering
Calling me to lunch.

It's really sick but you have to admit it's really funny.
I love Heather. We have been friends since we were 13. Almost a quarter century. I love that we can still come up with these sorts of things out of nowhere. She is very talented and I always copy her style. If you see me in something that looks terrific, Heather was probably wearing it first. Heather also has great hair, but denies it. Heather has many many other amazing attributes, but I have run out of time to write and must hand over the computer to my sugar addled offspring.

I'm thinking that perhaps in the next day or so, I'll write about some more of my friends, because they are pretty dang awesome.

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