Wednesday, October 31, 2012
I started to write a post during Sandy but scrapped it. I've been meaning to write more today but between planting garlic because the Farmer's Almanac told me to and shopping for a new washing machine, I simply ran out of time. L just came home and I find it hard to do any sort of writing with anyone in the house because of the interruptions.
My mechanical/electronic things are starting to turn against me. So far my phone has died, the washing machine was declared dead this morning (for the low price of sixty bucks)and the check engine light went on in my car this morning as well. Great.
My children are always against me. That's just a fact of life for me. It appears that my pets may also being joining the throng.
After carving 5 pumpkins, 1 rather complicated. (the kids forced me) I spent a half hour sweeping and mopping up pumpkin guts. B was home so I made a point of being very thorough as I knew that trying to take shortcuts would earn me some sort of remark that would go straight up my ass.
I was finally finished and putting things away when I saw my cat drag her butthole down the entire length of the hall way, tumbling in her wake was a large lump of turd, still attached to her ass by a few hairs. (She eats dust bunnies) I shook my head, feeling a bit defeated and thought to myself that it just couldn't be coincidence.
In honor of Halloween I'd like to share a very funny conversation that I had with my daughter last night. They are very nervous about Halloween as you can imagine, with the weather being what it has been this week. G asked me what kind of candy I bought to give out. B said that it was the kind that you eat. I said to her, "Yes, as opposed to the kind that you have to put in your ass." B then spoke of these "rectal chocolates" being all the rage in Asia and the Middle East. I followed him up with a lecture of my own about being her age and the only kind of candy we had was the kind that we had to shove up our asses. Uphill. In a snowstorm. And we were thankful for it.
Of course she didn't believe a word I said, but it was a good laugh.
And last, on this All Hallow's Eve, be sure to take a moment to think of all those people who suffered devastation from Sandy. I still get to dress up and take the kids out, I have Jack O Lantern's and a home to put them in. For thank I am very, very thankful.