Friday, June 08, 2012

A Catch Up

I was busy yesterday. I am getting a lot of writing done. It's crazy hard, but I am plugging away.

A few things to share:
I have noticed, from watching Game of Thrones and then going online to read about the actors, that most men look better in boiled leather, long hair and a film of grime. Put street clothes on them and their attractiveness score plunges. God forbid something happens to B, I'll have to start picking up guys at a Renaissance fair. I guess I could dress up a as a camp whore.

I have a client that always says to me that he's the bomb. I respond by telling him that my Nana used to call farts bombs. Yesterday, in an attempt to make a down in the dumps G feel better, I told her that I thought she was the bomb and that I didn't mean I thought she was a fart. I don't think it helped.

Plans are underway to get a new Ipod for B as a birthday gift. His old one is kaputt and we have been sharing. I have been finding it increasingly difficult to hide my 80's music addiction.

A varmint ate most of my tomatoes, brussel sprouts and kale. I have fantasies of the suspected groundhog scurrying along, trailing the M80 I had just shoved up his ass. I smile when I imagine the bang.

My friend sent me this site a person put together of all the creative ways they displayed their Elf on the shelf for their kid. Most of you have seen my photo of Steve, our family elf:

When I showed the kids the picture, they yelled at me for not getting video of Steve getting the knife out of the drawer. I was considering putting some pictures of Steve with white powder in his lap and on his nose and doing naughty things to a Ken doll, but that may be going too far.

There is my list for things to do today: Look up coming Renaissance Fairs, purchase a self help book about talking to daughters, a new Ipod for B, a Ken doll and some fireworks.

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