Wednesday, July 03, 2013


It's been hard to get back into the swing of things and write again.

I have so much writing to do. It's July, so I am participating in Camp NaNoWriMo.

My goal is to finally finish that pesky story I have been working on for the past year.

I also have that newsletter (that you should sign up for, if you haven't already, here) or you can just be lazy and go look on the Facebook page..Yeah thanks..

Then I like to write here as much as possible.

Last week I was on vacation in New Jersey. There is no WiFi at my mother in law's house, so I took a technology break.

It was fun. The weather was hot, but we had central air and went to the beach every day.

At the beach I learned that a sand crabs ass is actually it's face and it's face is actually it's ass.

They just crawl/swim/dig backwards.

Ass on the left, face on the right.

Realizing that they had cute little faces with eye stalks endeared me to them. I spent much of my time squatting at the water's edge digging for them.

I made it to the Glimmer Glass on Sunday, the night of the Super Moon-to see the horseshoe crabs mating. 

We only saw 3 pairs swimming in the water, there was a lot of mosquitos, but the moon on the water was very pretty. 

Just to say that I went to the Glimmer Glass to see the Super Moon was magic in itself.
My camera sucks, but here is a shot

Crappy camera..Crappy photographer. But it was very pretty.

I also had 2 more lumps removed right before vacation. They look like little mouths on the side of my arm. 

I drew little eyes and named them.

Again, not the best photo, but here they are, the top one is named Skidoozer, the Ambivalent Arm Muppet, the bottom is Skeeter, the Disgruntled Arm Muppet.

Wanna freak out and embarrass your children? Make your surgical scars talk to them. Good times. Good times.

So enough about crabs and arm muppets. 

My whole point of writing this was to talk about the difficulty of writing while being in a house full of people. Namely children, who are currently out of school and addicted to various internet games. 

I will also add there is 1 working computer for 5 people.

We came home from vacation and are now in a holding pattern until next week, when V & G go to art camp for 2 weeks and to comic club for another 2. 

This will give me much more writing time, I hope. 

 In this family it is asking A LOT to sit and write undisturbed for 10 minutes. 

I can't even go to the bathroom undisturbed.   

My family, all of them, are specially programmed to bother me at the most inopportune moments. 

If I have to start dinner, at least one, if not 2, people suddenly appear in the kitchen and engage in a carefully choreagraphed ballet where they place them selves exactly where I need or want to be, precisely 2 seconds before I get there. 

I sit on the toilet, at least one if not 2 other people suddenly feel the urge and get up to follow me in. If the door is unlocked, they stand in there waiting and ask me if I'm finished yet. 

If the door has a lock? 

Within minutes, the line outside the door resembles the line outside of a WalMart before it opens on Black Friday. 

I sit to write? 

Someone needs breakfast, a lost thing, immediate medical attention or Horst's specialty, a very silly story with no point that I was better off never knowing in the first place. 

So, I try to get up before everyone else and get what I need to get done, done. 

I tell the kids I need an hour and shut my bedroom door.

 I try to ignore the sounds of fighting and do not get up unless I hear the splash of blood or vomit.

I am looking forward to this coming Monday, when the house is clear of people for a few hours.

I can write alone, I can go to the bathroom alone. 

But then again..

Yes. I am sitting on the toilet.

I am never truly alone.


  1. Christina8:53 AM

    SAME thing at my house. Get on the toilet and it's instantly time for 2 dogs who usually are lazy asses plopped on a couch to barge in and sit and stare up at me while I try to crap in peace. Also the precise moment my 21 month old walks on in to get into the bathroom cabinets and pull out the shampoo and lotions. And as if that isn't bad enough, my husband - who is 40 mind you, decides to walk by, point and laugh and make audible fart noises, much like a 5th grader would. Lovely isn't it?

    1. Christina-you know you married him for his fart noises..

  2. You, too? They are ALWAYS up my arse. And how do you think the kids would react to talking gall bladder & C-section scars? I never thought of using them for evil. Until now. Thank you!!