Threat

I always do this to make my children laugh.

I did it again the other day while walking through the parking lot of Whole Foods.

A man passing by saw me do this to the kids and looked at me like I was the devil.

What the average passerby doesn't seem to grasp, is that when I threaten my children with bodily harm,

with colorful words or gestures,

What I am actually saying to them is,

"I love you and I think you're swell."