Wednesday, May 29, 2013
A Happy Day Dream
But I am working on it.
I was driving to pick B up from work this morning, so he could use the car, when I saw an old woman out walking her tiny Yorkshire Terrier.
No bag in hand. The little thing could shit anywhere. Looked like it was going to.
A lot of people walk their small dogs on the Parkway near my house.
As I go out with Gus, I notice tiny piles of dog shit everywhere.
I think that many people who own these dogs think that their dog's shit is so small it will just go unnoticed.
No, no it does not.
I had a woman across the street who let her dog shit in my driveway all winter long.
It sucked having to shovel not just mounds of snow, but also alien dog crap.
I can pick up my dogs crap all the livelong day without batting an eyelash, but not other dog's crap.
The woman stopped after I posted a sign stating that I would find out who the offender is and then call the police.
B called me a crazy sign poster, but it worked for a week or so.
The very day it came down, I was driving back from dropping the kids off, when I saw the little dog run out of my driveway and back to that lady's house.
I went there and told her that if I caught her dog there again, I would call the cops.
So after that day, I would watch her let the damn dog shit in the neighbor's front yard.
After seeing the bag-less lady with the Yorkie, I entertained myself for the rest of the ride by imagining a special place in the Afterlife for such people.
An immaculate house and yard, populated by numerous Great Danes with intestinal distress.
The head demon demands, in a rather violent and frightening way, that the place be kept spotless.
But there is nary a paper towel or baggie to be found.