This is my best friend Kevin. As you can see from this photo, he is a studley gay man.
We call him Brian's gay understudy. He will often make up for whatever B is lacking in. Without having to ever worry about that whole sex/adultery thing.
Last year, when B forgot my birthday, Kevin got me a present. This year, Kevin took the day off of work on my birthday without telling me.
I was at breakfast with 3 of my other closest friends when Kevin came running into the restaurant with a balloon and flowers. Totally embarrassing and wonderful at the same time.
On a side note, B has been completely absolved of all crimes in the great "Birthday Fuck Up of 2012" He went to get me the outrageously overpriced dress I asked for, but they were out of my size, so I went in and ordered it myself the next day. Here is last years post about it if you are interested
I love Kevin. Kevin is also a lot like my husband in that they both always tell me what I need to hear and not what I want to hear.
All the time.
A-holes.
But in the long run, it is a very good thing. Take my new haircut for instance.
Last year, Kevin and I went to see the last Resident Evil movie. Afterlife?
The entire movie I was completely obsessed with Milla Jovovitch's hair
Here is a so so picture of it
I turned to Kevin excitedly after the movie and said "I'm totally going to grow my bangs out and get my hair cut like that!"
Kevin said, "No you won't"
It was decided. I grew my bangs out for the entire painful year.
Firstly, because I wanted that particular hair do.
Second, I desired the anti-climactic moment that occured yesterday at breakfast when I shook my hair out and flipped Kevin the double bird and said, "See! I grew my hair out just like Milla's!"
The bitch didn't even remember. I knew it was going to happen like that anyways.
I then said to my friend, "Kevin, I need you to work that magic again. I want desperately to finish writing this book I'm working on. Tell me I can't do it so that I can do it."
He smiled and said, "Give up Cindy, you'll never finish it."
It is done. That book will be dedicated as follows:
To my friend Kevin: Fuck you
It's just like Milla's you bitch!
And thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes! I am over the moon thrilled by all the love.
Tomorrows preview! Come back for an essay about fluffy pants and fire axes
Now to work and finish so I can tell Kevin to go fuck himself.
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