Thursday, March 07, 2013

Miss Elizabitch and the Dreaded Earworm

I woke up to snow.

I was a bit disappointed because today was supposed to be Hot Yoga Day. But alas..

I could have gotten it together and maybe gotten ready earlier and such, but having to bring B into work late because Lyd's bus is always late on days of crappy weather Kind of screwed things up. I can't leave until she gets on the bus when it snows because I worry about her falling down the stairs out front. They can be a bit treacherous. There is actually a story there.

A few years back, during that Winter of 2010 or 11? If you live in New England you will remember. It was the one Winter where we had a snowstorm twice a week for 2 months.

One day, we had a short period of melting and then it froze up again.  I had been out sanding and chipping at ice in the front for a good 45 minutes before Lyd got home from school. We did not have any ice melt at the time because B was against it. He had just completed patching up the eroding steps that Fall and wanted them to stay in their "pristine" shape for as long as possible. Pristine or even passable as a decent step is still up for debate.

I'll just say that B chose well when he decided not to pursue masonry as a profession.

I heard a yell from outside just at the time Lyd was supposed to arrive home. I rushed out and saw that Lyd had slipped and fallen on her ass at the bottom of the steps. The woman who at the time was referred to as Miss Elizabeth (Lyd's bus monitor) glared at me and looked as if she was puffing herself up to yell at me. I walked down the steps and pointed at her and said bluntly, "Don't you yell at me."

I then proceeded to deal with Lyd and her dramatic portrayal of a mortally injured person. She is very dramatic to say the least. Dramatic and unhurt. It was quite a scene. Screamed bloody murder and refused to get up off the ground for what felt like 50 years.

I was frustrated because of all the work I had put in to make sure what happened did not happen and it did. I probably could have handled it much better. But I didn't.

Miss Elizabitch and I despised each other. We would give each other dirty looks at first and then as things started to be more in the past, we would just ignore each other.

Just this year, we started to be friendly and wave to each other as Lyd gets off the bus and we now wish each other a happy whatever holiday it is or to have a nice weekend.

Infinitely better than what it was like before.

So, when it is icy, I always make sure I am around to make sure Lyd gets up or down the steps OK and I always have some ice melt on hand.

Obviously so Lyd will be safe, but also so Miss Elizabitch will be happy.

 I can't stop saying Elizabitch. It's just too awesome of a name for me to abandon it. I just say it now with warmth and affection, so it's OK.

 I was late getting B to work, meaning I was late to get home to get the kids ready to go to school. This meant that I couldn't get my shit together in time for Hot Yoga Day.

I was really bummed. I wanted to go. I will say that there is something about snow that makes me not want to do anything except sit in the warmth and watch the flakes fall.

So here I am. I came home, made the beds and straightened the kitchen. I put my 4 dollar fluffy pants back on along with my special red acrylic cardigan that came from a dead guy (another day). I am on my couch with a cup of coffee, the 3 books I'm reading, the phone, my laptop, and every remote control that I could possibly need within arms reach.

 I can also see the snowflakes fall from where I am sitting.

If I just had an adult diaper, then I wouldn't have to get up for the rest of the day!

So aside from bathroom runs, I plan on sitting here until 1pm. At that time, I have to hoist myself up to throw tomatoes in the crock pot and make meatballs.

Hot Yoga Day has become Sit on My Ass Day.

But I will say that I really need this. I am exhausted and I definitely need at least 1 day like this every few weeks. The snow gave me the perfect excuse.

But before you feel too jealous and decide that you hate me because I am not cursing the snow or doing anything today, know that despite my extreme physical comfort, I also caught a very nasty ear worm by the name of Carly Rae Jepson.

It snuck in my ear at the bakery and her awful song is twisting and squirming through my head at top volume.

I may have to resort to drastic measures.

Look here's an ice pick! Home lobotomy maybe?

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