The other day, when I was arranging that clandestine meeting between Steve and the tooth fairy, I found letters by Steve that the kids wanted him to take to Santa.
I was relieved when I read them that the kid requests were not that outlandish and that I had gotten them the correct things.
I didn't go crazy, but they should have a good time.
I have lots to do today and have cut way back on my caffeine intake (again) I'm going to try save my creative energy to write some more on that story and submit my last count to NaNoWriMo.
I won't make 10,000, but pretty close and that is something to say the least. Too bad I didn't count all my posts.
See you tomorrow-I'm off to savor the first of my two measly cups of coffee.
Friday, November 30, 2012
Thursday, November 29, 2012
And then I said, "No really never tell your Dad that!"
I want to write about a story a friend shared with me last night about this guys she works with who wouldn't do what he was supposed to be doing this one time because he was glued to the TV watching the sex scene from "Top Gun". If you knew the guy and the circumstances, I promise you that you would laugh about it forever and the thought of it would get you through the dark times.
I just can't do it justice. I will tell you that that particular Top Gun fan is a character that I have been thinking of writing about for sometime. I just haven't whittled the story out yet.
But I do have an excellent story to share, from just this morning.
G lost her tooth last night. She still believes in the tooth fairy (although I tell her that it's me, she still doesn't believe it.)
So I put the usual 10 quarters and a pack of Juicy Fruit under her pillow, patting myself on the back for remembering to do it this time.
I am guilty of forgetting about taking the tooth and leaving something, only to have one of the kids find it the next morning. When this happens I either say, "Let me look." In my palm I have the quarters and gum and I slip my hand under. I bring it out and exclaim, "Here it is! The tooth fairy must have forgotten the tooth."
More often than not, I act outraged and exclaim that the tooth fairy is shiftless layabout and I am going to contact someone about this.
Then the next night she comes, leaves the goods and takes the tooth. Shiftless layabout..
I patted myself on the back and then decided that it would be great to put Steve the homicidal Christmas elf in the girl's room too. (You all know the whole Elf on The Shelf routine with his being moved every night because he is supposed to run back to the North Pole and tell Santa about their behavior? You know, I tell the kids I'm Santa and they don't believe me. I can assure you if that fucking elf walked up and started talking to me, I would either run screaming or attack.)
So here is Steve in the girl's room on a shelf above G's bed, she has a fantastic loft set up of which I am quite jealous.
I would like to add that I left the door to the girl's room open so that if he tried anything, I could get in there quickly.
The next morning we were discussing the fact that Steve was in the room:
G: I wonder if Steve saw the tooth fairy? Was he like, "Who are you?"
V:(In a very shifty, goofy voice) I wonder if Steve and the tooth fairy engaged in some casual
S-E-X.
Me: WHAAAAAAAT!?!!!!
V is 7 by the way.
I laughed my ass off and asked him if he even knew what that means (I suspect he gets the idea in some way)
He said no. I asked him where he heard that. His reply was that he saw it on a commercial
For 2 1/2 Men.
They also watch a lot of the Simpsons so I imagine they caught a racy episode somewhere.
I, of course after laughing (a lot),assumed my supportive parenting role and we had the conversation about not talking about these things with his friends because other parents may not like that and he'd be known as the "Boy Who Let The Cat Out of The Bag".
I also told him he should ask his father if he wanted to know what casual sex meant.
**Parents of children my kids associate with-They are entirely different at home-they aren't going to swear or say things that you don't want your kids to hear, I promise-the kids and I talk about this all the time. The only reason why I am relaxed about language and don't freak out when they come out with these things is that they know the appropriate time and place.**
Later on I was tying V's shoe and I hoisted his foot onto my leg to do so and V said that he almost hit me in the wiener. I said very matter of fact that women do not have wieners. Boys have penis's and girls have vaginas. I told him that he should never tell a woman she has a wiener.
But feel free to tell his father that he has a vagina.
I just can't do it justice. I will tell you that that particular Top Gun fan is a character that I have been thinking of writing about for sometime. I just haven't whittled the story out yet.
But I do have an excellent story to share, from just this morning.
G lost her tooth last night. She still believes in the tooth fairy (although I tell her that it's me, she still doesn't believe it.)
So I put the usual 10 quarters and a pack of Juicy Fruit under her pillow, patting myself on the back for remembering to do it this time.
I am guilty of forgetting about taking the tooth and leaving something, only to have one of the kids find it the next morning. When this happens I either say, "Let me look." In my palm I have the quarters and gum and I slip my hand under. I bring it out and exclaim, "Here it is! The tooth fairy must have forgotten the tooth."
More often than not, I act outraged and exclaim that the tooth fairy is shiftless layabout and I am going to contact someone about this.
Then the next night she comes, leaves the goods and takes the tooth. Shiftless layabout..
I patted myself on the back and then decided that it would be great to put Steve the homicidal Christmas elf in the girl's room too. (You all know the whole Elf on The Shelf routine with his being moved every night because he is supposed to run back to the North Pole and tell Santa about their behavior? You know, I tell the kids I'm Santa and they don't believe me. I can assure you if that fucking elf walked up and started talking to me, I would either run screaming or attack.)
So here is Steve in the girl's room on a shelf above G's bed, she has a fantastic loft set up of which I am quite jealous.
I would like to add that I left the door to the girl's room open so that if he tried anything, I could get in there quickly.
The next morning we were discussing the fact that Steve was in the room:
G: I wonder if Steve saw the tooth fairy? Was he like, "Who are you?"
V:(In a very shifty, goofy voice) I wonder if Steve and the tooth fairy engaged in some casual
S-E-X.
Me: WHAAAAAAAT!?!!!!
V is 7 by the way.
I laughed my ass off and asked him if he even knew what that means (I suspect he gets the idea in some way)
He said no. I asked him where he heard that. His reply was that he saw it on a commercial
For 2 1/2 Men.
They also watch a lot of the Simpsons so I imagine they caught a racy episode somewhere.
I, of course after laughing (a lot),assumed my supportive parenting role and we had the conversation about not talking about these things with his friends because other parents may not like that and he'd be known as the "Boy Who Let The Cat Out of The Bag".
I also told him he should ask his father if he wanted to know what casual sex meant.
**Parents of children my kids associate with-They are entirely different at home-they aren't going to swear or say things that you don't want your kids to hear, I promise-the kids and I talk about this all the time. The only reason why I am relaxed about language and don't freak out when they come out with these things is that they know the appropriate time and place.**
Later on I was tying V's shoe and I hoisted his foot onto my leg to do so and V said that he almost hit me in the wiener. I said very matter of fact that women do not have wieners. Boys have penis's and girls have vaginas. I told him that he should never tell a woman she has a wiener.
But feel free to tell his father that he has a vagina.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Paper
I am reaching the end of NaNoWriMo with a measly 7 thousand plus words but I'm Ok with it.
I still get up in the morning to write, except lately I just go on the computer and do dumb things like stare at Facebook, although I did take advantage of Cyber Monday early that day.
The only Christmas shopping I have left is the nice kind that takes you to tiny fun stores and the mall maybe once or twice.
I also have to make a lot of shit, but that is Ok. That has a planned start date of Dec 1st.
The bees are still alive and very lively sounding when I put my ear against the side of the hive and knock.
There is a very large hawk using the tree on the corner that I can see from my window. He is there quite often. This is a good thing because I get a bit of bird watching from my window fix. I also don't feel so bad about not having a bird feeder out because that would just be easy pickings for the hawk.
I like this picture of toilet paper. The colors are very soothing.
I thought of this great thing the other day as I read a post on Facebook about running out of paper towels.
If you get really mad at your spouse, here is a fun passive aggressive thing to do to get back at them.
Clear the bathroom and surrounding areas of all paper products (kleenex, paper towels, everything) Time it for right before their routine long trip to the bathroom. Then take the kids out just as they go in. Got to take the kids out so they don't hear the cries for paper.
Play stupid when you get back and he (or she) is very upset with you for not refilling the bathroom with paper. Tell them they should have looked before they crapped.
Of course you can't even bother doing this little passive aggressive prank on the kids. My kids anyways. They would just hoist up their pants and go. Disgusting little creatures.
For the record, if I was in the same predicament, I would just jump in the shower.
I still get up in the morning to write, except lately I just go on the computer and do dumb things like stare at Facebook, although I did take advantage of Cyber Monday early that day.
The only Christmas shopping I have left is the nice kind that takes you to tiny fun stores and the mall maybe once or twice.
I also have to make a lot of shit, but that is Ok. That has a planned start date of Dec 1st.
The bees are still alive and very lively sounding when I put my ear against the side of the hive and knock.
There is a very large hawk using the tree on the corner that I can see from my window. He is there quite often. This is a good thing because I get a bit of bird watching from my window fix. I also don't feel so bad about not having a bird feeder out because that would just be easy pickings for the hawk.
I like this picture of toilet paper. The colors are very soothing.
I thought of this great thing the other day as I read a post on Facebook about running out of paper towels.
If you get really mad at your spouse, here is a fun passive aggressive thing to do to get back at them.
Clear the bathroom and surrounding areas of all paper products (kleenex, paper towels, everything) Time it for right before their routine long trip to the bathroom. Then take the kids out just as they go in. Got to take the kids out so they don't hear the cries for paper.
Play stupid when you get back and he (or she) is very upset with you for not refilling the bathroom with paper. Tell them they should have looked before they crapped.
Of course you can't even bother doing this little passive aggressive prank on the kids. My kids anyways. They would just hoist up their pants and go. Disgusting little creatures.
For the record, if I was in the same predicament, I would just jump in the shower.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Sunday Chat
Sundays can be tough sometimes. I work 16 hours the day before and I am always up at the crack of dawn to have some time to myself before everyone gets up and starts bothering me to do something for them.
It always feels like I manage to grab a moment to sit down and read the paper and someone comes in (B) and starts to give me crap about something I did or did not do. Yesterday morning was no exception.
B:I'm going to drink the rest of your water (B likes to hijack my water glass and take it for his own, just for the record)
Me: Great
B: But unlike you, I am going to refill it after I drink it.
Me: Uh-huh
B goes to the fridge and refills my water glass from the pitcher. B brandishes the pitcher at me
B: And now I'm going to refill the pitcher, which you never do.
Me: (B finally has my attention) I don't do these things on purpose so that you can do them yourself and feel like you are better than me and then you get to make your "I'm exasperated" coughing noises that you love to do. Where else would you get your over inflated sense of superiority?
B: I don't make exasperated coughing noises
Me: Yes, you do, all the time, I'll point it out to you the next time you do it. It's ridiculous. Honestly, it sounds like you're choking on a dick.
B: (Laughing) Maybe you can "blog" about this. (He makes air quotations-he likes to make fun of my writing here)
Me: I think I will.
I won't even get into what transpired later that day when B loudly announced that he needed to borrow my hand lotion.
Friday, November 23, 2012
Pie
So we had pie, then some more pie and then we saw Life of Pi.
The pie crust was good but some tweaking will be done on the flavoring. It was a bit bland.
Every time I make pie, V insists on one of us pushing his face into his slice.
The movie was good. I accidently scratched V during a rather intense scene. I kept jumping, and V was on my lap. But it was a very very good movie. I'm glad that we decided to skip Rise of the Guardians for it.
As per tradition, Steve the homocidal Christmas elf was waiting for us when we returned from the movies.
Actually, this is an old picture. B's Mom sent him for the kids. They love him, but I just don't trust the look on his face. The kids laugh when I tell him he better watch his step or I'm kicking him out. Another tradition.
We're off to Worchester this morning and perhaps ice skating later on. My only Black Friday purchase may be a hairbrush for G because hers fell apart.
The pie crust was good but some tweaking will be done on the flavoring. It was a bit bland.
Every time I make pie, V insists on one of us pushing his face into his slice.
The movie was good. I accidently scratched V during a rather intense scene. I kept jumping, and V was on my lap. But it was a very very good movie. I'm glad that we decided to skip Rise of the Guardians for it.
As per tradition, Steve the homocidal Christmas elf was waiting for us when we returned from the movies.
Actually, this is an old picture. B's Mom sent him for the kids. They love him, but I just don't trust the look on his face. The kids laugh when I tell him he better watch his step or I'm kicking him out. Another tradition.
We're off to Worchester this morning and perhaps ice skating later on. My only Black Friday purchase may be a hairbrush for G because hers fell apart.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm up early to write for a few hours. Then I'm making the pies (pumpkin and apple crisp).
I got a small turkey this year so that will go in around 1-ish. We'll eat around 4. This year I'm going to make the usual potatoes and "Mommy" rutabagas. I think there is a back story about that somewhere on here. I'm doing creamed onions for the first time and I think I will actually make a salad as I have the ingredients.
It should also help the passage of all that cream and butter through our colons.
I love Thanksgiving. It has become my favorite holiday. A wise friend once told me that it is her favorite because it doesn't involve costumes or presents. I have adopted that thought (although I will say that Halloween has to tie with it a little if just for the way air feels and smells on that night)
I have a client that constantly asks me what I am doing for Thanksgiving. Although said person already has heard me tell them what I am doing. I know it's just an "in" for that person to talk about what they are doing. So I make things up to keep our conversations fresh.
So this year after dinner, the whole family will gather together on a rickety wooden platform and take turns diving into a shark infested barrel of water. The person who makes it out alive gets the extra piece of Thanksgiving peanut brittle. (No this is not a metaphor for what happens at the dinner table)
In reality we stay home, I cook for my immediate family which includes B,V,G and Horst. Lyd went with her family this year. After dinner we'll go to the movies to see "Rise of the Guardians". Before bed I'm going to force the kids to sit and listen to me read "The Thanksgiving Visitor" by Truman Capote. The we'll continue with "The Hobbit" if I don't fall asleep.
What do you guys do? I'd love to hear.
I am thankful for Thanksgiving
Have a lovely Thanksgiving.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
The Little Red Hen
I made my first pie crust today. I think it came out OK. We'll see when I actually have to roll it out and bake it tomorrow morning. But so far..
Baking season is upon me. I bake a number of different things. I only use a few cookbooks. I don't have too many as they are usually very thick and take up so much room.
I did get a new one this year called The Homemade Pantry
I use it all the time now and the woman who wrote it has a nice blog with good stuff on it too. Her names Alana Chernilla her blog is here
Every baking/Christmas season comes with the cookie fight.
My husband is a very kind generous man who loves to give people things during the holidays. Mostly things I make.
I put my foot down with the honey though.
I swore this year I wasn't going to make the cookies, I would only make enough for my family and actually enjoy the baking process and not feel stressed out. "I'm going to eat the cookies all by myself!" just like the Little Red Hen with her loaf of bread.
Sadly, since putting my foot down at throwing free honey at the masses, it looks like I will be baking again for them.
I will try to plan and stretch it out so that I don't feel rushed, but I suspect that by the end of this Holiday season I may feel like the other Little Red Hen, holding a mixing bowl and feeling like the sky is falling.
Oh well.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Thankful
Yes that was certainly quick. I am officially sold out of honey for the year.
But if all goes well, if my bees make it through the winter, there will be honey again next year. It is a very uncertain thing because who knows what could happen between now and then. I will also be definitely adding a new hive and possibly split the old one if needed. Those new ones will most likely take another 16 months to establish before I can take honey from them.
If any of you ever hear of someone selling their hives, tell me please.
I'm going to go to my hive today and check in. And give it big hugs.
Today I am thankful for all of those people who bought my honey and for those who didn't get to- I wish I had enough for everyone.
And I am thankful for all you who take the time to read my silly ramblings.
Thank you!
Monday, November 19, 2012
It's here! and Pretty Much All Gone!
So I did it and here is my first crop of honey, all jarred up and labeled.
It took me about 16 months to get to this point. Total was about 16 pounds all together. I jarred up 24 all nice nice and gave a 1 pound jar to my wonderfully creative friend Heather of whom I have spoken of before who designed the label for me.
I love keeping bees. I love having honey to sell. I have plans of expanding this coming Spring and so on and so forth.
I finally figured out what I want to do when I grow up. 38 years of dicking around.
I like to think that my "doing" so to speak is keeping bees and telling stories.
I fully accept the fact that neither one will probably never be lucrative enough to pay the bills.
But that's what I have a job for.
So following what other people are doing online this week, I will state some stuff that I am thankful for.
Today I am very thankful for my bees. I really love my girls. Even more than my dog.
I call this hive "Cabbage Hive" I'm hoping to install Epstein soon.
It took me about 16 months to get to this point. Total was about 16 pounds all together. I jarred up 24 all nice nice and gave a 1 pound jar to my wonderfully creative friend Heather of whom I have spoken of before who designed the label for me.
I love keeping bees. I love having honey to sell. I have plans of expanding this coming Spring and so on and so forth.
I finally figured out what I want to do when I grow up. 38 years of dicking around.
I like to think that my "doing" so to speak is keeping bees and telling stories.
I fully accept the fact that neither one will probably never be lucrative enough to pay the bills.
But that's what I have a job for.
So following what other people are doing online this week, I will state some stuff that I am thankful for.
Today I am very thankful for my bees. I really love my girls. Even more than my dog.
I call this hive "Cabbage Hive" I'm hoping to install Epstein soon.
Books So Far
I have a lot of catching up to do on my other story. there is no way at this point that I would reach the NaNoWriMo goal of 50,000 words by December 1st. Even if I cheated and added everything I already wrote in previous months.
If I really wanted to win whatever prize they're giving (I never checked) I would probably have to don a pair of adult diapers, lock myself in a room with a bit of food and water and have at it. However, the bangs on the door of my family trying to break in would most likely prove too distracting, so I have to be satisfied with bits and pieces daily and just being happy with the fact I did something.
The really awesome thing about NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month for those who may not know) for me is that is has gone a long way into getting me into the habit of writing every day. Structure and incentives are good for me.
For this past month, I have gotten up every morning at 6:15-6:30 and I fire up the computer and write something. Even if it's on here.
Later on I will sit for at least an hour and write more. That is when I turn this great application called Freedom on and that prevents me from going on the internet for however long I want. Huge help.
I hope that works-the link isn't showing up in the preview. I really need to work on my computer skills if I want to keep writing here.
So in addition to writing a lot, I read a lot. A few years back after reading an article where some apple bigwig claimed that people never read anymore and that is why they didn't have a version of the Kindle (It was right after the Kindle came out)I decided to keep track of how many books I read each year. I posted it last year here and the year before on Facebook.
I'm eventually going to get back onto GoodReads as well, but I don't have the time right now. But for the Hell of it, I'll share some of what I have read so far this year. I asterisked those books that I really liked.
1. The Night Circus
2. Monsters of Men***
3. A Monster Calls***
4. Steampunk!***
5. Nocturnes
6. The Infernals
7. Death Comes To Pemberley
8. Stay Awake
9. Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children***
8. Good Omens***
9. The Hunger Games
10. Catching Fire
11. Bird by Bird
12. Mockingjay
13. Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk***
14. On Writing
15. Gods Behaving Badly
16. The Graveyard Book***
17. Willpower***
18. Room
19. Lamb The Story of Biff, Christ's Childhood Friend***
20. The Wind In The Keyhole***
21. That's Disgusting
22. The Hunger Games (again-I know-shut up)
23. Catching Fire
24. Mockingjay
25. Daughter of Smoke and Bone
26. This is How***
27. American Gods***
28. Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
29. A Wizard of Earthsea
30. The Tombs of Atuan
31. The Farthest Shore
32. A Wrinkle in Time
33. Tehanu
34. The Wind Through The Keyhole (again)***
35. The Amber Chronicles volume 1
36. Gregor The Overlander
37. Gregor and The Prophecy of The Bane
38. Anansi Boys***
39. Neverwhere***
40. Shadow Of Night
41. The Glass Castle
42. I Suck At Girls***
43. Anansi Boys***(again)
44. Shadow Show
45. The Giver
Good Year so far-I pretty much liked everything, some more so than others. Yes, I know, I like a lot of science fiction/fantasy and young adult. I will continue with my ritual and post the remaining books and grand total on New Year's day.
Ok going now, thanks for reading.
If I really wanted to win whatever prize they're giving (I never checked) I would probably have to don a pair of adult diapers, lock myself in a room with a bit of food and water and have at it. However, the bangs on the door of my family trying to break in would most likely prove too distracting, so I have to be satisfied with bits and pieces daily and just being happy with the fact I did something.
The really awesome thing about NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month for those who may not know) for me is that is has gone a long way into getting me into the habit of writing every day. Structure and incentives are good for me.
For this past month, I have gotten up every morning at 6:15-6:30 and I fire up the computer and write something. Even if it's on here.
Later on I will sit for at least an hour and write more. That is when I turn this great application called Freedom on and that prevents me from going on the internet for however long I want. Huge help.
I hope that works-the link isn't showing up in the preview. I really need to work on my computer skills if I want to keep writing here.
So in addition to writing a lot, I read a lot. A few years back after reading an article where some apple bigwig claimed that people never read anymore and that is why they didn't have a version of the Kindle (It was right after the Kindle came out)I decided to keep track of how many books I read each year. I posted it last year here and the year before on Facebook.
I'm eventually going to get back onto GoodReads as well, but I don't have the time right now. But for the Hell of it, I'll share some of what I have read so far this year. I asterisked those books that I really liked.
1. The Night Circus
2. Monsters of Men***
3. A Monster Calls***
4. Steampunk!***
5. Nocturnes
6. The Infernals
7. Death Comes To Pemberley
8. Stay Awake
9. Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children***
8. Good Omens***
9. The Hunger Games
10. Catching Fire
11. Bird by Bird
12. Mockingjay
13. Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk***
14. On Writing
15. Gods Behaving Badly
16. The Graveyard Book***
17. Willpower***
18. Room
19. Lamb The Story of Biff, Christ's Childhood Friend***
20. The Wind In The Keyhole***
21. That's Disgusting
22. The Hunger Games (again-I know-shut up)
23. Catching Fire
24. Mockingjay
25. Daughter of Smoke and Bone
26. This is How***
27. American Gods***
28. Girl With The Dragon Tattoo
29. A Wizard of Earthsea
30. The Tombs of Atuan
31. The Farthest Shore
32. A Wrinkle in Time
33. Tehanu
34. The Wind Through The Keyhole (again)***
35. The Amber Chronicles volume 1
36. Gregor The Overlander
37. Gregor and The Prophecy of The Bane
38. Anansi Boys***
39. Neverwhere***
40. Shadow Of Night
41. The Glass Castle
42. I Suck At Girls***
43. Anansi Boys***(again)
44. Shadow Show
45. The Giver
Good Year so far-I pretty much liked everything, some more so than others. Yes, I know, I like a lot of science fiction/fantasy and young adult. I will continue with my ritual and post the remaining books and grand total on New Year's day.
Ok going now, thanks for reading.
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Sausage
I love my father in a weird way and despise him at the same time. He can be exhausting.
At this point, my feelings really don't matter that much in the situation because love him or not, I let that man live in my house.
He lives in the basement.. It's a pretty good deal, he contributes to the household and in lieu of Christmas presents every year, he gets me a pound of coffee whenever I want it from his coffee shop.
It can be frustrating to have him around. He doesn't clean his little apartment very well and he does very silly financial things.
I won't go into too much detail except to say his Swiss Colony account is up in the thousands.
At first I was flabbergasted. How the fuck do you spend a thousand dollars on meat logs and fruitcake? It's not like his shelves are stacked with vacuumed packed sausages.
Turns out, Swiss Colony sells clothes of the non-Leiderhosen variety.
Who would have thunk?
I spent last Sunday taking back control of my basement bathroom, which is technically his, but we share the washer and dryer in there. For a long time he was using a garbage bag for a curtain. I'm sure you all have seen in an earlier post his solution to actual dusting is to drape old cloth diaper rags over everything.
In fact, I took control of my rag supply again, taking them off everything and washing them. Now I have new rags too!
And now a new bathroom. We got a new washer, so I followed my spanking new machine with a proper curtain and slapped some new shelf paper on the dusty shelves. I scrubbed all the gross pipes and we even spray painted the rusty basebord.
I think I was waiting for a long time for Horst to get off his ass and clean something. I realize now it's kind of on me to do certain things.
He's old, he was raised a certain way and he also works a ridiculous amount of hours not to mention, takes a 45 minute bus ride to get there.
So I took back the bathroom and now I clean it too. If you come over and one of the kids is stinking up the upstairs bathroom, I might just ask you if you'd like to use my other bathroom with a hint of pride in my voice.
I got up at 6:45 so I had some time to write on here and work on my other story.
Horst has the day off. He set the smoke detector off at 6:50 AM and the smell of burnt Brown and Serve sausage has permeated my house.
Happy Sunday Folks.
Saturday, November 17, 2012
I have to get ready for my long shift in about 15 minutes.
I kind of hate Saturdays for this reason. It's not so bad when i get there and I get busy, but right now, an hour and fifteen minutes before start time really sucks.
What sucks as well is that I work until midnight, then I have to get up early and go to Mass with the family. Yes. A Catholic one. No me myself, I am not Catholic. My husband is and it's weird because he doesn't agree with a lot of that stuff-you know what I mean.
I am not going to get into why I agree to go to church or anything like that for now. It's too long winded and I just do not have the inclination at the moment.
But the church burns is kind of expensive. It bugs me.
I don't mind giving to charity-in fact I was donating 1/2 of my honey sales to an apiary in Brooklyn. They 're not taking any more donations so I'm going to buy a beehive for some poor person through Heifer International and then make a donation to the Red Cross.
So every week, I gotta give a check in the Ol' envelope.
Then they have these things like taking photos for the church directory. They said that is was an opportunity for a "free" family photo.
That was quite the fiasco. I had to bring the whole crew to pose for picture. Brian said no to my suggestion that we dress up as Kiss. He's no fun at all.
We waited for ever, then we posed forever. The photographer was this surly woman who wouldn't settle for anything mediocre. I couldn't figure out what the hoopla was about until she sat us down and began the hard sell. We got the "we are doing this for free and don't you want to support your church bit. Of course the children were bedazzled by all the nice pictures. We left almost 200 dollars poorer. And then the envelope that Sunday.. I do admit the church gets very little when it soaks us for something like that. Here is a photo of our family photo. i wish I was computer savvy enough to photo shop some Kiss make up
Isn't it nice? Now I have 3 of these kicking around the house, I have no idea what to do with. Want to buy one? They're covered in Irish linen!
They have this thing too called Faith Direct, which takes the money directly out of your bank account each week. I decided that if I am forced to do such a thing, they are going to get a dollar a week.
CCD costs a lot of money, so that week was a poor donation week, but the real kicker was the Harvest Festival. B took the kids (I had to work) and somehow or other V won a goldfish. To me it's the worst thing.
It's supposed to get big and live in a Coi pond. I know it's just a 25 cent fish, but still it's not disposable. I know it's just a cheap feeder fish, but I don't have anything to feed it to. I always feel really bad for goldfish.
They could've splurged for Betas. They are great bowl fish. How many people were they expecting to go to a silly Harvest Festival anyways. I think they could've spent a little more money to get a more suitable fish. Many of those goldfish bought and won that day probably died. I guess that pro-life stuff doesn't pertain to feeder fish.
So that following Sunday, after church, I found myself having to go out and purchase a little tank, gravel and of course the fish just HAD to have Sponge Bob's house. Because the poor fish would be so much poorer without a $10.00 replica of Sponge Bob's house. I think the grand total for that one was close to $50.00.
The church is lucky I didn't have to make these purchases on Saturday night because they would've found a Petco receipt in the church envelope the next day.
But there is a little bit of hope for me and this whole church business.
I'm talking B into taking the kids to church on Saturday night, so I don't have to go on Sunday. So there is a benefit to working late on a Saturday.
As for the fish, he was just a little white and gold thing and I paid him no mind until he began to mature. He started to grow a little patch of dark skin just above his upper lip. With that I began to love him, little Burt Reynolds. I'm planning a Coi pond for sometime in the future for my little mustached friend.
I think I'll put the receipt for that in the collection envelope.
I kind of hate Saturdays for this reason. It's not so bad when i get there and I get busy, but right now, an hour and fifteen minutes before start time really sucks.
What sucks as well is that I work until midnight, then I have to get up early and go to Mass with the family. Yes. A Catholic one. No me myself, I am not Catholic. My husband is and it's weird because he doesn't agree with a lot of that stuff-you know what I mean.
I am not going to get into why I agree to go to church or anything like that for now. It's too long winded and I just do not have the inclination at the moment.
But the church burns is kind of expensive. It bugs me.
I don't mind giving to charity-in fact I was donating 1/2 of my honey sales to an apiary in Brooklyn. They 're not taking any more donations so I'm going to buy a beehive for some poor person through Heifer International and then make a donation to the Red Cross.
So every week, I gotta give a check in the Ol' envelope.
Then they have these things like taking photos for the church directory. They said that is was an opportunity for a "free" family photo.
That was quite the fiasco. I had to bring the whole crew to pose for picture. Brian said no to my suggestion that we dress up as Kiss. He's no fun at all.
We waited for ever, then we posed forever. The photographer was this surly woman who wouldn't settle for anything mediocre. I couldn't figure out what the hoopla was about until she sat us down and began the hard sell. We got the "we are doing this for free and don't you want to support your church bit. Of course the children were bedazzled by all the nice pictures. We left almost 200 dollars poorer. And then the envelope that Sunday.. I do admit the church gets very little when it soaks us for something like that. Here is a photo of our family photo. i wish I was computer savvy enough to photo shop some Kiss make up
Isn't it nice? Now I have 3 of these kicking around the house, I have no idea what to do with. Want to buy one? They're covered in Irish linen!
They have this thing too called Faith Direct, which takes the money directly out of your bank account each week. I decided that if I am forced to do such a thing, they are going to get a dollar a week.
CCD costs a lot of money, so that week was a poor donation week, but the real kicker was the Harvest Festival. B took the kids (I had to work) and somehow or other V won a goldfish. To me it's the worst thing.
It's supposed to get big and live in a Coi pond. I know it's just a 25 cent fish, but still it's not disposable. I know it's just a cheap feeder fish, but I don't have anything to feed it to. I always feel really bad for goldfish.
They could've splurged for Betas. They are great bowl fish. How many people were they expecting to go to a silly Harvest Festival anyways. I think they could've spent a little more money to get a more suitable fish. Many of those goldfish bought and won that day probably died. I guess that pro-life stuff doesn't pertain to feeder fish.
So that following Sunday, after church, I found myself having to go out and purchase a little tank, gravel and of course the fish just HAD to have Sponge Bob's house. Because the poor fish would be so much poorer without a $10.00 replica of Sponge Bob's house. I think the grand total for that one was close to $50.00.
The church is lucky I didn't have to make these purchases on Saturday night because they would've found a Petco receipt in the church envelope the next day.
But there is a little bit of hope for me and this whole church business.
I'm talking B into taking the kids to church on Saturday night, so I don't have to go on Sunday. So there is a benefit to working late on a Saturday.
As for the fish, he was just a little white and gold thing and I paid him no mind until he began to mature. He started to grow a little patch of dark skin just above his upper lip. With that I began to love him, little Burt Reynolds. I'm planning a Coi pond for sometime in the future for my little mustached friend.
I think I'll put the receipt for that in the collection envelope.
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
The Trilogy part 2
Crap-I just wrote a disclaimer and promptly lost it. So here is a shorter one. I started this much earlier and then I had to do other things. Now I'm trying to get this out so I can do some other things, like clean the puke that my asshole cat just left on my couch. Well at least she's eating most of it.
So yes-this probably sucks but then again I did write 2193 words today for the really long story I have been working on, so I feel this totally justifies a crappy no picture post. I'll try to do better tomorrow
It's 7 AM and I actually have a clear 15 minutes in which to write a post before everyone gets up. I like to get up before everyone else and on certain days, I make it a point to write at least a few paragraphs first thing when I get up. On days when I have to work 16 hours, it feels like a really nice accomplishment. I'm beginning to find that if I do not write, I spend the rest of the day feeling rather guilty about it, and that screws up my day.
We watched Moonrise Kingdom last night. My brother in law mentioned that his family saw it over the summer. I've been dying to see it and when i found it at Red Box, I thought it would be something for all of us to watch.
My husband neglected to mention that my brother in law mentioned a part that made him really "embarrassed"
I was totally unprepared for the part when the kids are kissing on the beach and the girl mentions that the boy is "hard".
This was an awkward moment when B and I looked at each other and then said with much enthusiasm that it was getting late and everyone should go to bed.
I wonder if my parents felt the same way when we saw Conan The Barbarian on Preview the first time. Or Quest for Fire. It was probably worse. I think I was 9 or 10 watching those movies.
I feel awkward enough watching sex scenes with my husband. I can only imagine what it will be like when the kids are old enough to watch such things.
It's not that I'm a prude, but porn really does nothing for me and drawn out movie sex scenes just kind of get old after a few minutes.
But I guess it is my little opinion against the world.
Enjoy your long sex scenes you perverts.
Anyhow, Moonrise Kingdom was a great movie and the kids liked it. I'll let them see the rest of it. I recommend it, but be prepared to either fast forward or feel really awkward for a minute.
Christ-the parents of the kids in the movie must have been saying, "Oh God" to themselves at the movie premiere sitting next to their kids that were in the movie. I bet that was wierd.
Moving on. I got braces. I am a brace face.
It is a good thing because I have always disliked my teeth. I got made fun of a lot in school, especially junior high. The other kids used to call me "rat" and say I was ugly. All sorts of charming cruel things that pre-teens are famous for.
Funny thing. I have not been in junior high for over 25 years, but some of the shit those people used to say to me still sting. The treatment I got way back then really infiltrated my psyche. My perception of how I think people think of me is really out of whack. Anyways,at least I think it is
I used to think that people didn't like me. I would actually get shocked sometimes when people let their kids over my house to play with my kids because in the back of my head I'm still stamped as someone who should be avoided or made fun of.
My favorite example was my friend Joanna's first offer of friendship to me. We both were bringing our kids to swim classes. Her kids were right before mine. She came up to me and gave me her card and said that we should get coffee sometime.
I looked at the card and noted that she had an MSW. I instantly thought that I must really look like I need help or something.
I'm learning over time that people do not instantly think I am a bad person just by looking at me. I'm getting over my annoying social phobias bit by bit and over time I've been letting go of a lot of the bad things that were done and said to me so long ago.
Not everything was all that bad either. I had some friends at school and I have some very good friends that I still have had since even before I was a teenager. Not a lot of people can say that.
I got braces because I need implants (tooth, not boobs just for the record). I want to have a full decent set of teeth that will take me far into old age. If the world is still here after December 21st of course.
But I also got braces for that little girl who felt ugly and lonely and unliked.
I have come a long long way from being that little girl, but she's still around.
Despite what all those other people said. I never thought she was all that bad.
So yes-this probably sucks but then again I did write 2193 words today for the really long story I have been working on, so I feel this totally justifies a crappy no picture post. I'll try to do better tomorrow
It's 7 AM and I actually have a clear 15 minutes in which to write a post before everyone gets up. I like to get up before everyone else and on certain days, I make it a point to write at least a few paragraphs first thing when I get up. On days when I have to work 16 hours, it feels like a really nice accomplishment. I'm beginning to find that if I do not write, I spend the rest of the day feeling rather guilty about it, and that screws up my day.
We watched Moonrise Kingdom last night. My brother in law mentioned that his family saw it over the summer. I've been dying to see it and when i found it at Red Box, I thought it would be something for all of us to watch.
My husband neglected to mention that my brother in law mentioned a part that made him really "embarrassed"
I was totally unprepared for the part when the kids are kissing on the beach and the girl mentions that the boy is "hard".
This was an awkward moment when B and I looked at each other and then said with much enthusiasm that it was getting late and everyone should go to bed.
I wonder if my parents felt the same way when we saw Conan The Barbarian on Preview the first time. Or Quest for Fire. It was probably worse. I think I was 9 or 10 watching those movies.
I feel awkward enough watching sex scenes with my husband. I can only imagine what it will be like when the kids are old enough to watch such things.
It's not that I'm a prude, but porn really does nothing for me and drawn out movie sex scenes just kind of get old after a few minutes.
But I guess it is my little opinion against the world.
Enjoy your long sex scenes you perverts.
Anyhow, Moonrise Kingdom was a great movie and the kids liked it. I'll let them see the rest of it. I recommend it, but be prepared to either fast forward or feel really awkward for a minute.
Christ-the parents of the kids in the movie must have been saying, "Oh God" to themselves at the movie premiere sitting next to their kids that were in the movie. I bet that was wierd.
Moving on. I got braces. I am a brace face.
It is a good thing because I have always disliked my teeth. I got made fun of a lot in school, especially junior high. The other kids used to call me "rat" and say I was ugly. All sorts of charming cruel things that pre-teens are famous for.
Funny thing. I have not been in junior high for over 25 years, but some of the shit those people used to say to me still sting. The treatment I got way back then really infiltrated my psyche. My perception of how I think people think of me is really out of whack. Anyways,at least I think it is
I used to think that people didn't like me. I would actually get shocked sometimes when people let their kids over my house to play with my kids because in the back of my head I'm still stamped as someone who should be avoided or made fun of.
My favorite example was my friend Joanna's first offer of friendship to me. We both were bringing our kids to swim classes. Her kids were right before mine. She came up to me and gave me her card and said that we should get coffee sometime.
I looked at the card and noted that she had an MSW. I instantly thought that I must really look like I need help or something.
I'm learning over time that people do not instantly think I am a bad person just by looking at me. I'm getting over my annoying social phobias bit by bit and over time I've been letting go of a lot of the bad things that were done and said to me so long ago.
Not everything was all that bad either. I had some friends at school and I have some very good friends that I still have had since even before I was a teenager. Not a lot of people can say that.
I got braces because I need implants (tooth, not boobs just for the record). I want to have a full decent set of teeth that will take me far into old age. If the world is still here after December 21st of course.
But I also got braces for that little girl who felt ugly and lonely and unliked.
I have come a long long way from being that little girl, but she's still around.
Despite what all those other people said. I never thought she was all that bad.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
No One Sleeps Naked in This House: Because Catching up is Hard to Do
No One Sleeps Naked in This House: Because Catching up is Hard to Do: I have OCD. It is a fairly mild case. More of an obssesive thought thing that involves me worrying about whether or not I locked the doors t...
No One Sleeps Naked in This House: Because Catching up is Hard to Do
No One Sleeps Naked in This House: Because Catching up is Hard to Do: I have OCD. It is a fairly mild case. More of an obssesive thought thing that involves me worrying about whether or not I locked the doors t...
Because Catching up is Hard to Do
I have OCD. It is a fairly mild case. More of an obssesive thought thing that involves me worrying about whether or not I locked the doors to the car or if I closed the curtains to all of the bedroom windows because that is what will keep out those Salem's Lot vampires. I admit fully that that thought kept me up for an extra 10 minutes last night, but I fought it, the curtains stayed open in the girls room and I am very happy to report that they are not vampires this morning,although G has a large welt on the back of her neck from some sort of bite....
Ok, so this OCD is making me obssessed with little snippets that I have been wanting to share here because I think that they are worthwhile for some reason. Out pops my other demon--procrastination. So I am going to re-cap a few silly things I have wanted to tell you about, then I can move on. There.
To start. I have been married for 10 years as of October 19th. It has been a happy satisfying affair for the most part. Few bumps in the road. But that comes with the territory. I think one of the best things about being married to my husband is that I learn new things about him all the time. Take this past Sunday for instance.
I was planning dinner for the evening and I was going to make German macaroni salad. I usually make potato salad to go with it and breaded and fried pork chops. I always place a Kaopectate tablet and a defibrillator in arms reach just to be safe, but damn it's good. I asked B if he wanted potato salad. He said, "Do whatever you want to do." I decided that since it was a busy day, I was going to skip the potato salad, because that was what I wanted to do. Later on, B said, "What? No potato salad?" I replied that I did not think that he cared. Evidently "Do whatever you want to do" means, "do what I want you to do, but you need to figure out exactly what it is." So in the end it means to make the fucking potato salad I guess.
This summer, I learned that B and I share my brain. He relies on my brain to keep track of our finances, appointments for the whole family, where things are, what we need to buy anywhere, birthdays, you name it. Sometimes I think that having to remember whose socks are whose takes up so much brain space that it is beginning to interfere with basic thought processes. I'll be accidently stabbing myself in the eye with a fork while trying to stick it in my mouth before you know it.
I realized this whole brain thing while we were folding laundry. I kept having to tell B the difference between my underwear and both of my daughters. I told him that he should be more forgiving of me when I forgot something, or said something dumb because all of the brain space I had to use to know where the socks go. He recognized this and pointed out that using my brain for these menial tasks allows him to use his brain space for important things, like political polls and hockey scores.
Since my epiphany, B has become a little protective of my brain space. He got panicky after I packed a small knife in our cooler for the trip to NJ so I could cut things. He said in a very worried voice that he was worried that thinking about where to put the knife where we wouldn't forget it will make the brain tired. I don't know if he was entirely kidding, and yes he refers to my brain as "the brain".
That jerk. I already reminded him this weekend that certain things will play a role in deciding who changes his diapers later in life. Me or Barry the surly CNA with chapped hands.
(I know I posted it already on Facebook-thought it was good enough to say it again.)
Later on in our trip, he was slumped at the computer trying to get tickets for our trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. He looked weary and very frustrated. I patted him gently on the shoulder and said, "Don't worry, the brain will help you" as I took the laptop out of his hands.
I'm looking at the time and have noticed that it is getting late and I have to go and work on my story. I'm participating in NaNoWriMo and I am very far behind. So I shall call my catch up posts the trilogy, This will be #1-The Brain, followed by #2-Braces and #3 Burt Reynolds-the mustached fish.
But before I go, Halloween night was a lot of fun this year. A bit sad because I knew that in other parts of the country, the lights were out and some people had lost their homes and lives. But, I was so happy to see that right before sunset, on that rather damp day, the air suddenly crisped up, and it was Halloween weather in what seemed like an instant. I was putting the Jack O Lantern's outside and I swear I felt the turn. It was Halloween magic. Thank you Great Pumpkin! Here are a few photos. I loved my pumpkins and have to show them one last time.
Barnabus Collins, The Doctor and a Dalek
I was Lizzie Borden
I was annoyed with the kids for demanding a Dalek pumpkin, but then it came out really nice
Owl
I carve a Cyclops every year in memory of my friend, Gig, who carved me my very first Cyclops pumpkin.
And the kids call this one the Vampire Platypus
And the Classic
Back again later, or tomorrow or most likely next week.
Ok, so this OCD is making me obssessed with little snippets that I have been wanting to share here because I think that they are worthwhile for some reason. Out pops my other demon--procrastination. So I am going to re-cap a few silly things I have wanted to tell you about, then I can move on. There.
To start. I have been married for 10 years as of October 19th. It has been a happy satisfying affair for the most part. Few bumps in the road. But that comes with the territory. I think one of the best things about being married to my husband is that I learn new things about him all the time. Take this past Sunday for instance.
I was planning dinner for the evening and I was going to make German macaroni salad. I usually make potato salad to go with it and breaded and fried pork chops. I always place a Kaopectate tablet and a defibrillator in arms reach just to be safe, but damn it's good. I asked B if he wanted potato salad. He said, "Do whatever you want to do." I decided that since it was a busy day, I was going to skip the potato salad, because that was what I wanted to do. Later on, B said, "What? No potato salad?" I replied that I did not think that he cared. Evidently "Do whatever you want to do" means, "do what I want you to do, but you need to figure out exactly what it is." So in the end it means to make the fucking potato salad I guess.
This summer, I learned that B and I share my brain. He relies on my brain to keep track of our finances, appointments for the whole family, where things are, what we need to buy anywhere, birthdays, you name it. Sometimes I think that having to remember whose socks are whose takes up so much brain space that it is beginning to interfere with basic thought processes. I'll be accidently stabbing myself in the eye with a fork while trying to stick it in my mouth before you know it.
I realized this whole brain thing while we were folding laundry. I kept having to tell B the difference between my underwear and both of my daughters. I told him that he should be more forgiving of me when I forgot something, or said something dumb because all of the brain space I had to use to know where the socks go. He recognized this and pointed out that using my brain for these menial tasks allows him to use his brain space for important things, like political polls and hockey scores.
Since my epiphany, B has become a little protective of my brain space. He got panicky after I packed a small knife in our cooler for the trip to NJ so I could cut things. He said in a very worried voice that he was worried that thinking about where to put the knife where we wouldn't forget it will make the brain tired. I don't know if he was entirely kidding, and yes he refers to my brain as "the brain".
That jerk. I already reminded him this weekend that certain things will play a role in deciding who changes his diapers later in life. Me or Barry the surly CNA with chapped hands.
(I know I posted it already on Facebook-thought it was good enough to say it again.)
Later on in our trip, he was slumped at the computer trying to get tickets for our trip to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. He looked weary and very frustrated. I patted him gently on the shoulder and said, "Don't worry, the brain will help you" as I took the laptop out of his hands.
I'm looking at the time and have noticed that it is getting late and I have to go and work on my story. I'm participating in NaNoWriMo and I am very far behind. So I shall call my catch up posts the trilogy, This will be #1-The Brain, followed by #2-Braces and #3 Burt Reynolds-the mustached fish.
But before I go, Halloween night was a lot of fun this year. A bit sad because I knew that in other parts of the country, the lights were out and some people had lost their homes and lives. But, I was so happy to see that right before sunset, on that rather damp day, the air suddenly crisped up, and it was Halloween weather in what seemed like an instant. I was putting the Jack O Lantern's outside and I swear I felt the turn. It was Halloween magic. Thank you Great Pumpkin! Here are a few photos. I loved my pumpkins and have to show them one last time.
Barnabus Collins, The Doctor and a Dalek
I was Lizzie Borden
I was annoyed with the kids for demanding a Dalek pumpkin, but then it came out really nice
Owl
I carve a Cyclops every year in memory of my friend, Gig, who carved me my very first Cyclops pumpkin.
And the kids call this one the Vampire Platypus
And the Classic
Back again later, or tomorrow or most likely next week.
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