High On The Hog

"So Azog is really dead, he actually died in that battle. It was Bolg, his son that came down to the Battle of Five Armies."

"Oh and the Witch King of Angmar, he doesn't show up in the book, but they never tell you the details of what Gandalf was doing when he left the company."

"Remember they mention the Necromancer during the party at Bilbo's house in the beginning of the book?"

"I liked the wood elves better in the movie. The ones in the cartoon looked like crazy aliens."

"I expected the Great Goblin to be green."

These are snippets of the conversation that we had while driving home from "The Hobbit" yesterday. I looked over at B, who picked us up from the movies. He had a amused but pained expression on his face. He prefers non-fiction books about sociology. V and G sharing my enthusiasm for Tolkien is a small win in our amicable war of influences. I will go on the record and say they are both very well-rounded. They like Hobbits and American history.

Lyd could give a shit about Hobbits, she didn't want to see the movie and has no interest in American history.

It was truly an exciting time for me, taking the kids to see it. We are currently re-reading the book and they like it even better this time around. I have been reading the same battered copy since I was a little kid. I probably know way too much about Tolkien and Middle Earth, it is my love for those books that gives me entrance into the land of pure geekdom. I even took a Sci-Fi/Fantasy lit class once that focused on Lord of The Rings.

It was great, every once in awhile, during the movie, V or G would make a comment about the movie vs. the book. They were excited at certain parts that were only seen in their minds or on that ancient Rankin & Bass cartoon (I will always enjoy the depiction of Smaug from that cartoon as well as Gollum).

The only problem I had with the movie was the hedgehogs. I took my kids to the movie knowing that there would be very violent and scary parts. I had no idea that there would be a part with a DYING HEDGEHOG!

It wasn't in the book. If it was in the book, I would have probably hesitated before taking V, who in many ways is very tenderhearted, especially when it concerns hedgehogs. They are his favorite animal. He is also in that childhood phase where he doesn't care how many people die in a movie as long as the dog makes it.

When Radagast picked the dying hedgehog up from the forest floor, I glanced over at my visibly tense son and said, "Oh shit." Watching the the hedgehog squirm in it's final death throes, I knew that we may have to leave the movie just by the look on poor V's face. "Fuck!" I said to myself.

But then a miracle occurred, the hedgehog came back to life. V squealed with joy and I sat back with a relieved sigh, silently thanking both God and Peter Jackson for their mercy.

After that, we could watch the rest of the movie, with all of it's violent scenes and scary monsters, in peace and relaxation.

All because the fucking hedgehog lived.