Wednesday, May 09, 2012

I Feel Really Awkward Asking, But At Least I'm Not Asking for Money

It has been awhile and I've been struggling to write. A lot of it has to do with my procrastination problem. Then I just run out of time as I am busy. I am raising 3 kids, one of whom has a disability, I run a household, work just about full time and it is the start of beekeeping and gardening season. Sometimes I feel like I don't have anything worth saying, especially if I don't have anything funny to say. I find that I waste most of my frre time. I go on the computer religiously every morning at 6:30 AM. On the computer, I do nothing worthwhile. I go on Facebook and Twitter. I troll about on blogs. I could be writing.

I actually have several stories, pretty entertaining ones that have been clattering around in my brain for some time. I finally submitted one to a contest and I am awaiting the results (keep in mind, I do not expect an award, even an honorable mention.) I get satisfaction from simply being finished and putting it somewhere. The problem is, I now permit myself to be lazy and do nothing but troll about as I mentioned before.
I get down on myself when I attempt to write on here as well. I, like every other person in the world, adores attention to some degree. I worry that I am wasting my time here because no one reads this. But I guess I am missing the point. I should be writing for the sake of writing and not for the attention I think I would get. I like to write and do it because I want to. I am now finished with my self affirmations.

I often have friends tell me that I read my blog and they find my posts on Facebook very funny. I like that. I never function well unless I know that someone will give me shit about not doing something. I don't like to get shit, so it is a big motivator. I will be attempting to write every morning instead of wasting time trolling (I like that word, have you noticed). So, if you read my postings and like to and notice that I am slacking, please do me an enormous favor call me or write me and give me shit about it. It's the best way for me to get things done. My husband can attest to that.
PS Maurice Sendak died yesterday. I am so sad about that.

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